47.
“……Philomel?”
When Philomel remained silent, Eustis called her name, his voice tight with anxiety.
“…….”
Philomel bit her lip, unable to offer a response.
*Thump, thump.* Her heart hammered against her ribs.
It was strange. She had finally received an apology, yet she didn’t feel the relief she expected. But if asked if she felt bitterness, she couldn’t claim that, either.
*What does an apology even matter?*
Nothing would change, regardless of his words.
In truth, it wasn’t entirely Eustis’s fault. She wasn’t his biological daughter; in his own way, Eustis was a victim, too.
“Please don’t blame yourself too much. Even if Your Majesty does, it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
Philomel continued, her tone light, as if the matter were trivial.
“Of course, well……. At the time, I did resent Your Majesty a little. And while it’s hard to say I don’t feel that way now, either, looking back, I think it was just a natural progression.”
“A natural progression?”
“Since I am not your biological daughter, it was inevitable that you couldn’t love me.”
“…….”
“…….”
Silence settled between them, thick and suffocating.
“……I let you stay even after knowing you weren’t my biological daughter.”
A long while later, Eustis spoke again.
“You must have felt it instinctively. After all, I didn’t look anything like the late Empress at all.”
“That has nothing to do with it.”
“It has everything to do with it. It was only natural that Your Majesty couldn’t show affection toward me.”
“That’s not true! Even if that was the case when you were young…… I consider you my daughter now. You are my daughter.”
*That phrase again.*
Philomel scoffed. It seemed she needed to clear up this misunderstanding once and for all.
“That’s probably a delusion.”
The tone that escaped her lips was surprisingly firm, even to her own ears.
“What?”
“You’ve just grown attached because of the time we spent together. But that emotion isn’t affection for a daughter.”
Philomel was certain of it.
It wasn’t affection. It was simply that he had become accustomed to the performance she had put on to win his favor.
*He’s just mistaking habit for affection.*
She knew this because she had read how that man treated ‘Philomel’ in *Princess Ellensia*. Though, she held some doubts about the book’s authenticity now.
“You’re saying my feelings are a delusion…?”
Eustis muttered, his face looking as though he had been struck.
Seeing him so confused, Philomel said soothingly, “Now that Ellensia is by your side, you will gradually come to understand what a real daughter is and what family truly means.”
Of course, not every family bound by blood lived in harmony. Even she wasn’t confident that she could get along well with her own biological parents. But it was highly likely that things would be different for Eustis and Ellensia. Their relationship was one originally forged in love.
The Emperor and Empress had married because they loved each other, and they had a child out of love. While other parts of the book might have been lies, this was an unshakable truth.
“And I don’t believe the relationship between Your Majesty and me is a matter of forgiveness or lack thereof.”
She meant that forgiving her would be useless. If he forgave her, would they go back to the past, where they only feigned warmth on the surface? If he didn’t, would he take revenge on the girl who had been separated from her father by her own biological mother?
No. This matter ended here. And so did her relationship with him.
“Please forget the good times and the resentful times alike.”
“Philomel…….”
“It’s right to forget everything and go our separate ways. Well, someone like Countess Deles can take over the role of my guardian, so you don’t have to go through the trouble, Your Majesty.”
“…….”
“…….”
A silence like a boundary line flowed between them—a distance that would never be narrowed.
*Originally, I intended to part ways cleanly like this, but…….*
Philomel hesitated for a moment before opening her mouth again.
“However……. If you have even the slightest bit of apology or lingering fondness left for me, would you grant me a favor?”
Eustis snapped his head up to look at her.
“What is it? Anything is fine. Speak.”
“I intend to try living on my own strength from now on. But I’m a bit lost on where to start. I don’t even have a place to stay right away.”
On her way to the office, she had been racking her brain for a reasonable excuse to remain in the Imperial Palace, and this was the best she could come up with.
“Countess Deles said I could stay at the Deles estate, but…… I would feel too guilty. The Countess still has a tendency to treat me like a Princess.”
Philomel continued cautiously, watching the Emperor’s reaction.
“If it’s alright with you, may I stay in the Imperial Palace for a little longer? I will keep it clean even if you only give me a room used by the palace attendants.”
She added that, fearing he might think she was seriously considering his offer of registry.
“Of course, only until I find a way to make a living. I won’t be a burden for long.”
Once her doubts about Ellensia and the book were resolved, she would leave without delay.
“You may stay as long as you wish. However, I cannot allow you to stay in the attendants’ quarters.”
Eustis spoke with a stiff expression.
“Then, where…?”
The West Palace, where Philomel was currently staying, was for the successor. But now that it had been revealed she wasn’t a real Princess, she had to yield that place to Ellensia.
“I will have the South Palace prepared for you.”
*The South Palace?*
Philomel tilted her head. The South Palace was for state guests.
“But it wouldn’t be right for me to stay there when I am not a state guest.”
The State Guest House was usually only opened when members of the imperial family or high-ranking nobles from other nations arrived. They were so arrogant that if a country’s power was considered weak, they wouldn’t even offer the South Palace, but rather ordinary rooms.
“Why are you not a state guest?”
“Because I am no longer a Princess…….”
“Even if you don’t wish to be my daughter, I have no intention of turning my back on the debt I owe you.”
“……A debt?”
“You are the benefactor who found Ellensia for me. You are the one who found that child, who was on the verge of living her life buried in obscurity forever. If it weren’t for you, I would have lived my whole life without even knowing of Ellensia’s existence.”
The words flowed from the Emperor’s mouth without a hitch. He was so eloquent it was as if he had prepared the speech beforehand.
“Furthermore, as long as you are not my daughter, that child is the Emperor’s only child and heir. You have provided a service that neither I nor the Empire can easily repay.”
*Does it work like that?*
A benefactor.
She felt dazed; she had never thought of it that way. Even without anyone blaming her, she had lived her whole life as a sinner.
The Emperor continued without hesitation.
“It would be a disgrace to the Belerov Imperial Family if I let this pass without compensation. Everyone would curse me as a man worse than a beast. Do you intend to turn me into a man worse than a beast?”
“No, that is, well…….”
Listening to Eustis, she found it difficult to refuse. At some point, she had been swept up in his pace.
Actually, it was more advantageous for Philomel to use a spacious room if she could. If she were alone, she wouldn’t mind an attic, but with a biological father in cat’s clothing, she needed a separate space.
Only after listening to his elaborate persuasion for a long time did Philomel finally accept his offer.
“……Then, I will take you up on the offer of the South Palace.”
Thus, it was decided that Philomel would stay at the South Palace Guest House for as long as she wished. It was a decision that would draw the attention of others, but that was something she had steeled herself for the moment she decided to stay in the Imperial Palace.
Afterward, Philomel requested the release of the palace attendants who had been detained. The Emperor didn’t seem willing, but he promised to do so.
Even after that, discussions regarding her stay in the South Palace went back and forth. In many respects, their opinions differed, but most things were decided in the direction Philomel wanted.
“Philomel.”
Just as she was about to leave the office, a solemn call held her back.
“I will regard this as a sort of opportunity.”
“Yes?”
“I will prove, without fail, that what I said is not a lie.”
So, he seemed to be saying, she should think about it again when that time came. It was only a conjecture, but that was what he seemed to be implying.
“……I will take my leave.”
Philomel left the room without saying anything more.
*I’ve done as much as I could.*
It wasn’t her fault if the Emperor harbored vain expectations. He’ll give up soon enough.
“Oh, Philomel. Are you coming from meeting Father?”
No sooner had she stepped out of the office than she ran into Ellensia. She seemed to be on her way to meet Eustis.
“Yes. I have finished discussing the matter of the registry that you suggested earlier.”
Philomel said, bowing her head to greet Ellensia.
“How did it go? Are you going to be registered?”
Ellensia asked, her eyes sparkling. She seemed to have a significant interest in her own registry.
“No. I apologize to His Majesty, but I declined.”
“Oh my…… Why? I wanted to spend more time with you, Philomel…….”
Her beautifully shaped golden eyebrows drooped. Watching the face stained with disappointment, Philomel wondered if it was truly sincere. She wanted to know what kind of person Ellensia really was.
“It is a position that does not suit me. But please, don’t be too sorry.”
Ellensia’s blue pupils clouded with confusion.
“Although I declined the registry, I have decided to stay in the Imperial Palace for the time being. His Majesty has graciously offered me the South Palace Guest House.”
In an instant, her expression crumbled. What remained was a blank, pale face that resembled a clean sheet of paper.
“I am truly happy that I will be able to continue seeing you, Princess, who cares for me so much. You’re happy too, aren’t you?”
She still didn’t know exactly what kind of person Ellensia was, but looking at that face, Philomel was certain.
She was not pleased that Philomel was remaining here.