The confidence I’d felt a moment ago had completely evaporated, and I couldn’t even think of a coherent reply. Choi Kang-woo spoke slowly.
“There’s an exit with a rest stop a little further down, so don’t worry and keep going. I’ll assist you when we get there.”
Thump-thump. My heart was racing at a terrifying pace. Throughout the drive on the highway, Choi Kang-woo kept his hand over mine on the steering wheel. The weight of his hand felt strangely reassuring.
“Today’s experience will be a huge help for your future driving. Quite an intense first time on the highway.”
Choi Kang-woo’s tone, half-teasing, offered a strange sort of comfort. It took nearly an hour of tense driving before the car finally pulled into the rest stop. Once we were parked, I stammered,
“I need to go to the bathroom. I was so nervous.”
I couldn’t imagine turning around and driving all the way back to Seoul in this state. Choi Kang-woo answered effortlessly.
“Go ahead. We have plenty of time, so just relax.”
I hurried to the restroom, splashed water on my hands, and looked into the mirror. My face was deathly pale. It was surreal to realize I had come all this way dressed in a hoodie and a padded vest instead of proper attire. But alongside the shock, a wave of pride washed over me—I had actually driven for an hour to reach this place.
“And to think that car is mine.”
The thought made me feel better. On my way back to the car, I busied myself gathering roasted chestnuts, walnut cakes, and drinks. Choi Kang-woo, already settled in the driver’s seat, looked at me and signaled.
“Sit in the passenger seat this time.”
“Yes, understood. Oh, and please, have some of this.”
“What is all this?”
Choi Kang-woo asked, glancing at the snacks I was piling onto the console.
“Do you not like them? Isn’t eating walnut cakes and roasted chestnuts a must when you visit a rest stop?”
Choi Kang-woo chuckled. I doubted he had ever bothered with such things, even during his business trips to the provinces. Usually, he’d bypass rest stops entirely, heading straight to his destination. With a driver at his disposal and mostly men for company, he’d never had a reason to pull over.
He popped one of the walnut cakes I offered into his mouth. The sensation of the warm red bean filling melting on his tongue wasn’t bad, even if he wasn’t a man who typically enjoyed sweets.
“Here is your Americano, too.”
“This is the first proper coffee you’ve given me, Han Na-Eun.”
Now that he mentioned it, I realized I’d always offered him drinks low in caffeine.
“Yes. I thought I needed the caffeine to keep my wits about me for the drive back to Seoul. I’m having one, too.”
My expression was set with the determination of someone marching into battle. Seeing me like that, he couldn’t help but find me adorable.
“What do you need to keep your wits about you for in the passenger seat? You can sleep the whole way back.”
“No, I can’t. I’m on a driving lesson, so I have to pay close attention to your technique.”
“Is that so?”
Choi Kang-woo started the engine. It was both amusing and burdensome that I was staring at him so intensely.
“Are you going to keep staring like that?”
“Yes. I plan on watching you until we arrive. I want to see how you press the accelerator, when you hit the brakes, the angle at which you turn the wheel—I intend to see it all.”
Even as the car pulled onto the road, I kept my eyes fixed on him. And that was when the problem began. Because of my unblinking gaze, Choi Kang-woo was in a bind. Every time he realized my eyes were on him, his body grew rigid, and a distinct physical shift began to occur.
If I kept staring so intently, he wouldn’t be able to hide it. To make matters worse, I was embarrassingly fixated on the lower half of his body, tracking his footwork on the pedals. Suddenly, a change occurred in his body that he simply couldn’t suppress.
*Tsk.* I knew a day like this would come. Han Na-Eun, you keep provoking me—is today the day?
I was trying to learn the mechanics of driving, but my eyes kept drifting toward his trousers, and I immediately realized the extent of his reaction. My throat went dry; panic flared, and I quickly looked away.
“I’m tired from focusing so hard. Um, may I sleep?”
“That’s exactly why I told you to sleep.”
Even though he knew I had noticed, Choi Kang-woo didn’t let it show. This aggressive, unyielding bodily reaction was beyond his control; he was merely suppressing it with every ounce of his resolve.
My heart began to hammer—thump-thump, thump-thump. I had no experience with men, but I knew enough to recognize how a man’s body reacted to arousal. Seeing his trousers pulled taut, I didn’t know how to handle the situation. Should I act like I knew, or was it better to be oblivious?
I turned toward the window, watching the wind whip through the bare branches of early winter. As night fell, the wind grew fiercer. By comparison, the interior of the car felt stiflingly hot. I couldn’t take off my vest, and the entire situation felt suffocatingly awkward. I decided to at least pretend to be asleep, and that was when he spoke.
“Look here. When passing through the tollgate, you should start slowing down from this distance…”
When I looked over, he was explaining the maneuver as he glided through the gate. It was staggering that he didn’t abandon his role as an instructor even in this state. My eyes drifted from his hands on the steering wheel back down to his lap, where the tension remained.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Yes. I’ll sleep from here on. Please wake me up when we reach home.”
Choi Kang-woo replied with a thin smile.
“Understood. Whether you pretend to sleep or pretend to be dead, do as you like.”
Even without words, we both understood. Through this raw, physical reaction, Choi Kang-woo clearly recognized the nature of the attraction he’d felt for me all along. He wanted to possess this woman. From the start, he had craved this small, rabbit-like creature who existed in a world so different from his own.
I kept my eyes closed, pretending to be dead. It was closer to death than sleep; I was even holding my breath to avoid making a sound. To think I would fall into this whirlpool of obscenity on my very first trip in his car.
Yet, my heart was racing, my chest felt tight, and a ticklish sensation bloomed deep in my belly. It was a terrifyingly new feeling.
After what felt like an eternity, we returned home. Only after putting the car in park did Choi Kang-woo call my name.
“Na-Eun.”
I finally opened my eyes, feigning a sudden wakefulness.
“Are we already here?”
He knew perfectly well I hadn’t slept a wink, and the way I tried to act groggy was both absurd and adorable to him. Choi Kang-woo smiled faintly.
“I know you weren’t sleeping. Why pretend now?”
I said, feeling a prickle of annoyance,
“Can’t you just pretend not to notice things like that?”
“Why did you pretend to sleep?”
Was he really asking me that?
It was a teasing question, yet I knew he wanted an honest answer.
“Just because. I didn’t have much to say. And actually, I wasn’t pretending; I just had my eyes closed. You can disconnect your consciousness if you do that, you know?”
It was a complete nonsense statement. Choi Kang-woo looked at me as if he were dumbfounded.
“That’s a fine excuse.”
“It’s true. In yoga, you can close your eyes and separate your consciousness from this world.”
I didn’t even remember where I’d heard it, but I delivered the lie with conviction. Choi Kang-woo chimed in.
“Then teach me how later. How to separate my consciousness.”
Fortunately, by then, his body seemed to have calmed down. I sighed in relief, gave a short bow, and headed toward the Annex.
“We’re heading the same way, why are you walking so fast?”
Even if I hurried, my short legs were no match for his stride. He caught up in a few paces, walking right beside me.
“Do you know we’re heading the same way?”
I shook my head. It had been a mindless reaction, but when I thought about it, it was incredibly stupid. I pulled myself together.
“Of course I know.”
The walk back felt like an eon. The awkward silence made even our gait feel strange. That was when Choi Kang-woo said,
“Will you give me a cup of burdock tea?”
I looked up, stunned.
“Right now?”
*Shouldn’t you go up quickly, wash up, and handle your business?*
The thought swirled in my head. I didn’t know men well, but I suspected this man was currently being governed by his desires. I kept the thought to myself, but Choi Kang-woo added, as if it were nothing,
“I’ve gone through all this trouble—aren’t you going to be stingy and not even give me a cup of tea?”
“I’ll give you one. But you finished the Americano a while ago, are you sure you’re alright?”
Even though I’d agreed, I was trying to convey that I didn’t want to see him anymore tonight. Choi Kang-woo looked at me with a pained expression and said,
“That’s too much. I taught you so hard, and you won’t even give me a cup of tea?”