22.
If I were adopted by Ajusshi, I would finally be able to proudly say the word “Dad”—a term I had never dared to utter while walking on eggshells.
Conversely, if I were adopted by Duke Papiope, I would never be able to call Ajusshi “Dad” for the rest of my life.
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t clearly make a choice between the two. Whichever path I chose, it felt like I would be left with nothing but regret and lingering attachments.
Ultimately, the probability of me rejecting Ajusshi’s adoption offer was high, but I still needed time to see if there was any other solution.
But before I could even ask for that time, I hesitated. Because such an opportunity might never come again…
[Overwriting the current timeline onto Timeline 2.]
I silently rested my forehead against Ajusshi’s shoulder and asked in a small voice.
“If I’m adopted by you, Ajusshi, am I allowed to call you Dad?”
“Yes. Legally, we will be father and daughter.”
“Then, if it’s alright with you, Ajusshi… may I try calling you Dad?”
A brief silence ensued. Ajusshi granted his permission, his emotions layered deep beneath his words.
“…As much as you like.”
At the permission that fell from his lips, I felt as if I possessed the world in an instant. My eyes welled up with an overwhelming surge of joy.
“Dad.”
“Yes, my daughter. My daughter, Tania.”
Ajusshi tightened his arms around me, as if he would never let me go again. It felt like a dream to be called his daughter.
Dad. Dad. Dad.
You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to proudly call you Dad all this time.
“Waaaaah!”
I cried out loud, pouring out all my sorrow. Ajusshi, too, seemed to have a lump in his throat; his voice turned metallic and raspy.
“My daughter… you must have been very lonely all this time. You’ve been living through such hardship. I didn’t know. I’m sorry. Hmm? I’ll do anything, so please don’t cry.”
Ajusshi probably said that to comfort me, but it acted as a catalyst, and I wept so hard I couldn’t breathe.
*Why did you leave me behind and die? I found out about your obituary so long after it happened. And why did you leave your inheritance to me?*
In truth, the Ajusshi from the previous timeline thought of me as a daughter, didn’t he? If that weren’t the case, then him trying to adopt me so suddenly in this timeline wouldn’t make any sense.
I just wanted to call you Dad so badly. How many suppressed tears had I shed in my heart?
I wiped my face with my sleeves and looked up at him. I couldn’t see well, my eyes swollen shut.
“…Dad.”
“Yes, my daughter.”
“I was so happy to be your daughter, even for a short while. I will cherish this memory forever.”
“What…? What is that supposed to mean…”
The father-daughter experience was over. Before I became attached and wanted to live locked away here forever, I had to run.
[Loading Timeline 2.]
My head felt groggy and hazy, as if I had just woken from a sweet dream. I slowly parted my lips, which had been silent for a long time.
“I am truly happy that you would adopt me as your daughter, Ajusshi. But… I think I need some time to think.”
“Ah…”
Ajusshi’s eyes widened, looking somewhat shocked. Unable to handle the dissonance from just a moment ago, I hung my head like a sinner.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t answer right away. I, too, really want to be your daughter… but I’m just not sure if this is the right thing to do.”
“There is no need to be sorry. It is partly my fault for speaking too hastily. I respect your opinion.”
I clenched my fists, feeling an inexplicable frustration.
One week.
I would spend exactly one week contemplating if there were any other way, and then I would go to the Talent Training Center.
✦ ✦ ✦
One week later.
Contrary to my resolution, I had not been able to decide whether to become Ajusshi’s daughter or be adopted by Duke Papiope. The timeline I had saved back then was so precious that I couldn’t bring myself to overwrite it.
I sighed and opened my list of save slots.
▶Timeline 1
June 19, 274th year of the Imperial Era.
13:41:42 (7 years old)
▶Timeline 2
June 19, 274th year of the Imperial Era.
21:50:29 (7 years old)
▶Timeline 3
October 1, 286th year of the Imperial Era.
12:41:42 (19 years old)
▶Timeline 4
April 20, 274th year of the Imperial Era.
13:07:42 (7 years old)
To reiterate, I had a total of four timeline save slots. Slots 1 and 2 were used for saving and backing up. Slot 3 was a future timeline for information. Slot 4 was for resetting my life. But since I wanted to keep slot 2 for the future, living with only slot 1 was a bit overwhelming.
“Should I just make the timeline where Ajusshi proposed to me my life-reset slot…?”
I shook my head. I had already joined hands with Ageratum, made the acquaintance of ‘that old man’ at the underground auction house, and taken the exam for the Papiope Talent Training Center. I had gotten to know too many people to call it a reset.
Crucially… “I must keep the timeline from before I met Ajusshi.”
Just in case. If I were to receive an irreparable wound from Ajusshi, I had to have a place to escape to. Ajusshi was everything in my life; therefore, to completely sever the connection with him, returning to a time before we ever met was the only way.
That was when—speak of the devil—Ajusshi’s voice came from outside the room.
“Tania, lunch is ready, so come out.”
“Yes, I’m coming!”
Before he could start scolding me, I shut the system window and headed to the dining table. Today’s main dish was vegetable stir-fry with bacon.
Even with eggplant in it…!
Because of my memories of starvation, I ate almost anything without complaint. But the eggplant… the mushy texture and the smell made me gag. I quietly read Ajusshi’s expression and slid the eggplants away.
As if he knew, Ajusshi stared straight at me.
“The… I have a disease where I can’t control my anger when I see eggplants.”
“Haha!”
I blinked, surprised by his laughter. He didn’t laugh much, yet he laughed at my picky eating.
“I’m being openly picky, aren’t you going to say anything?”
“Hmm… I suppose I could say I’m happy because it’s a childlike thing to do.”
“Pardon?”
“Whenever I see you being adult-like… I remember the fact that you grew up in an environment where you had no choice but to mature too early.”
Ajusshi moved the eggplants I had picked out onto his own plate with a bitter expression.
“A child should be like a child. You can throw tantrums in front of me. It’s okay to be unreasonable.”
Then, he picked the bacon from his portion, placed it on my plate, and smiled affectionately.
“Because that is what you are meant to do.”
…To share his limited portion of meat; no matter how I looked at it, this was true love.
Adult-like, huh.
I didn’t know that my acting like an adult would be a source of pain for Ajusshi. In fact, I had considered acting like a seven-year-old child entirely. In a future timeline, I had visited an orphanage a few times under the pretext of making donations, just to prepare.
However…
A real child’s way of walking was different. It wasn’t a realm I could just enter because I wanted to mimic it. I had watched a child who had just turned 24 months old talking to a teacher. The child had something in their mouth, chewing and mumbling.
“Temny, mum-mum-mum.”
“Hmm? Could you say that again?”
“Mum-mum-mum.”
…What on earth were they saying?
The teacher couldn’t understand the child either, making guesses that were far off the mark. Then, the baby spat out what they were chewing onto their palm, and as if to say, “Don’t be so frustrating,” enunciated clearly.
“Eeko! Mum-mum!”
“Aha, you meant you ate this?”
As the teacher understood, the baby, satisfied, popped what they had spat out back into their mouth.
Was that when it started?
I decided to give up on acting like a child.