23.
Contrary to her expectations, the journey continued without incident. The nights remained as thick and viscous as tar, yet morning dawned without anyone being left bloodied, and they packed their belongings to set off again before the sun reached its zenith. Although the schedule dragged as soldiers, exhausted by the sweltering heat, began to lag, the pilgrimage proceeded without any major setbacks.
Led by Gareth and his personal guards, the procession reached Sortika, a small town in the northwest, five days after leaving the Imperial Palace. After spending a day there, they moved northward again.
All the while, Talia kept a sharp eye on the attendants sent by Imperial Princess Talia Roem Gwirta. They feigned a loyalty so performative it was nauseating, but Talia did not lower her guard for even a single moment. They were merely biding their time. It was as plain as day that something terrible would happen sooner or later. Did not ominous plots always follow like a shadow in anything Imperial Princess Talia Roem Gwirta was involved in?
If not today, then tomorrow; if not tomorrow, then the day after… The horrific spectacle would surely unfold before her eyes soon enough. Talia could not tell if she feared it or longed for it.
Whenever she saw Varkas, who treated her with such cold indifference, acting infinitely tender toward Aila, she wished for a terrible tragedy to strike immediately. She felt she would find relief if the two of them were rendered so wretched they were unrecognizable. Seeing his corpse would be a hundred times better than watching him stand by Aila’s side.
Yet, when the night deepened, a suffocating dread would overtake her. It was useless to tell herself hundreds of times that she did not care if a man like that died.
Trembling with anxiety throughout the night, Talia would flee her tent before the day had even broken. Relying on the dim dawn light, she would set out to find him. She felt she could only draw breath once she confirmed with her own eyes that Varkas was alive and breathing.
Moving impatiently along a narrow path choked with undergrowth, she stopped dead in her tracks upon hearing a horse snort.
Pushing through the dense bushes, she saw a gray stallion with a flowing black mane. Varkas, who had led the massive beast to the spring, knelt on one knee in the dirt. He pulled on the reins to guide the horse’s head to the water’s surface, then used his other hand to scoop up the spring water and dampen the stallion’s long, muscular neck.
The sunlight, filtering through the thick leaves, bathed his hair in a beautiful silver glow. Talia, watching the scene while holding her breath, closed her eyes in despair. No matter how much she tried to excise it, her love for Varkas grew like a tumor, eating away at her. She saw no way to escape this quagmire.
How could she cast these feelings aside?
Leaning her back against a sturdy tree and staring blankly at the sky, Talia turned away limply. Then, spotting Aila walking down the path, she hurriedly hid behind the tree.
Perhaps she had just risen from her bed; Aila wore only a single gown over her thin shift, her long hair draped over her shoulders. She looked just as disheveled as Talia—no, perhaps even more so. Yet, despite that, Aila still appeared noble and elegant. Talia couldn’t help but think that perhaps in that woman’s blood ran something she could never possess, even if she were to die for it.
“So, you were here.”
With a faint, rosy flush on her cheeks, Aila approached him cautiously and sat on a flat rock.
Varkas’s gaze shifted to her. As if finding even that quiet look unbearable, Aila curved her eyes softly and carefully removed her shoes. She dipped her feet into the spring water and splashed it lightly. The sound of the horse snorting, the splashing of water, and her merry laughter, bright as the chirping of birds, dissolved into the cold dawn air.
Talia suppressed the urge to dash out and grab her older half-sister by the hair. She also stifled the desire to tear apart those lips that smiled at him and rip out the tongue that prattled to him. She could not bear to see Varkas attempting to protect Aila.
Eventually, having enjoyed her splashing enough, Aila reached out to him. Instead of taking her hand to help her up, Varkas leaned down to wipe her feet. Then, as if he were nothing more than a loyal servant, he carefully put her shoes back on. The sight felt like a dagger piercing her heart.
Talia turned and began to run. Twigs and grass scratched her arms and calves, but she felt no pain. It was as if all her sensory organs had broken down.
She sprinted along the winding forest path like a racehorse, gasping for air. Then, her foot caught on a protruding tree root, and she went sprawling. Buried in the bushes, her chest heaving, Talia suddenly burst into laughter.
What would Imperial Princess Talia Roem Gwirta say if she saw this? She would likely wrinkle her beautiful brow and shake her head in disbelief. She could almost hear the sound of her mocking voice coming from somewhere.
“You have two paths. One is to obtain the man you want by any means necessary, and the other is to be a slightly less miserable loser.”
She seemed to wish for Talia to become a seductress to lure him, but Talia could never become like Imperial Princess Talia Roem Gwirta, even if it meant her death. She would have stopped at nothing to seize what she wanted. But Talia, beyond praying for this agonizing time to end as quickly as possible, did not know what else to do.
Looking up at the sky, fractured through the branches, Talia stood up. Emerging from the dark forest path with weary steps, she saw several knights milling about in confusion. As she brushed past them toward the carriage, a guard—Edrick, or whatever his name was—quickly blocked her path.
“Where on earth have you been without saying a single word! I told you time and again that you must not go around alone without an escort…”
The knight, who had been spouting his insolent nagging, suddenly stopped. He seemed quite startled by her disheveled appearance.
“Just… what has happened to you… surely you haven’t been accosted by someone?”
She brushed past him and climbed onto the carriage step.
But the man did not seem inclined to stop his nagging. Gripping the doorframe, he continued in a firm tone.
“I have a duty to protect Her Highness. Therefore…”
“If anyone heard you, they’d think you were actually worried about me.”
Talia looked down at him with a sneer.
“I suppose you were ordered never to take your eyes off the ‘reckless Imperial Princess’… if you’re going to act as a jailer, you should stay sharp. Why blame me because you were too stupid and distracted to keep track?”
The man went silent, as if at a loss for words.
Talia slammed the door shut in his face.
The man, his fingers caught in the door gap, let out a rough curse. It didn’t seem he was seriously injured as he was wearing gauntlets, but the grumbling continued for a long while as he clearly felt a sharp pain.
As always, she ignored all the complaints coming from outside. If she had listened to every word spat by those surrounding her, she would have gone mad long ago. After becoming an Imperial Princess, the first thing she learned was how to let things slide.
Talia drew the thick curtains over the glass window where the morning light was streaming in and curled up like a hedgehog.