Chapter 30
Ever since that day, Talia struggled to break free from a love that had hardened into a long-standing habit. She had tried to excise her feelings for him before, but never with such desperation.
She shoved the dresses he had chosen for her deep into the back of her closet and pulled out the ones he used to frown at upon sight. Then, she began attending the banquets held regularly at the Empress’s Palace.
Naturally, her escort knight, Varkas, had to follow her into that feast of decadent nightlife.
For someone who had received an education akin to a monk’s until the age of fourteen, it must have been a contemptible sight. It was not a comfortable place for Talia, either. Within a hall filled with her mother’s admirers, she was treated as nothing more than a small, living replica of Imperial Princess Talia Roem Gwirta.
They regarded Talia—who possessed the face of the Empress on the body of a youthful girl—like an intriguing toy. Many among them showed active interest. Though a strong sense of humiliation arose at the way they treated her as a substitute for her mother, Talia feigned enjoyment of the attention showered upon her.
She wanted to show off to Varkas.
*Look at what you’ve missed. I will become a woman more beautiful than Aila. A woman as beautiful as Mother.*
She wanted to show him how many people desired her. Perhaps a part of her heart even hoped that he would try to stop her.
But Varkas, as always, merely performed his duty as an escort in silence. Whether she mingled with men and drank until she collapsed, or flirted with those twice her age, he did not care in the slightest. Such an indifferent attitude only fueled the dangerous impulses that had taken hold of her.
He had stayed by her side for seven long years. In that case, couldn’t he at least worry a little? Couldn’t he try to stop her? Such childish thoughts clung to a corner of her mind and would not disappear. She felt that if she were to ruin herself completely, she might finally be able to shake off this foolish, lingering attachment.
Driven by a sense of self-abandonment, she mingled with strange men. She even allowed them the bizarre familiarity of stroking her hands, face, or hair, or pressing their noses against the nape of her neck.
It was unpleasant to be handled as if she were a porcelain doll, but she did not dislike the rapturous, almost intoxicated look in their eyes.
Sometimes, she felt a sense of elation, as if she were a god. When swept up in such feelings, the absence of Varkas—just one man—seemed like a trivial matter.
She clung to that sensation. If she continued to bury herself in these intoxicating times, that green, youthful love would surely wither and die in no time.
She became further immersed in the trivial, messy games men and women played. She grew accustomed to engaging in suggestive banter and trading light caresses, playing a precarious game of push and pull.
How long had she been burying herself in those perilous days when a Southern nobleman named Margus approached her?
At first, she hadn’t paid him much attention. Though she went out to the banquet hall every evening to mingle with various men, she had not kept a single one of them in her memory.
But at some point, his name began to linger. The man had captured her interest in a rather peculiar way.
He treated her as if she were a young niece or a foolish child. Sometimes, he even offered advice as if he were genuinely worried about her. After a moment of annoyance at his insolent attitude, Talia gradually opened her heart to him. Unlike the men who tried to touch her at every opportunity, he always maintained a friendly demeanor while keeping a respectful distance.
That wasn’t all. He acted as if he had no ulterior motives, playing the jester as if he were only interested in making her laugh, or bringing her toys and dolls as gifts instead of jewelry or revealing clothing. Talia gradually began to feel comfortable around him.
Perhaps the man had noticed the affection-starved child lurking inside her. He breached her defenses with ease.
It was on the evening four days before her Coming-of-age Ceremony that he destroyed the fortress of trust she had built.
The man visited the Annex Palace late at night, at a time when Varkas was absent. She felt a brief moment of suspicion at his unannounced arrival, but as soon as she saw him speaking vibrantly with that affable face, her wariness melted away like snow.
“Look at this, Your Highness. I have finally acquired the puzzle I mentioned the other day!”
The man shouted with an excited voice, thrusting a large toy box toward her.
“You cannot imagine how hard I worked to get this, Your Highness! I didn’t even put this much effort into the gift I prepared for the Emperor!”
The man, who had been holding his head high in triumph, suddenly scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. He seemed to have belatedly realized the rudeness of his late-night intrusion.
“I had intended to present it on your birthday, but… I must leave the capital urgently tomorrow, so I took the liberty of visiting like this. Would you please forgive my rudeness?”
At the sight of his drooping eye corners, looking like a rain-soaked puppy, Talia shook her head as if she had no choice.
“It can’t be helped. Come, step inside.”
He walked into the Annex Palace with a bright smile. It was the first time she had ever brought someone other than an escort knight or a maid into the castle. Suddenly, she felt ashamed of the state of the Annex Palace, which was practically in shambles.
She led him past the reception room, which was thick with dust from lack of use, to the study on the second floor. It was the cleanest, most well-ordered place, excluding her bedroom. They set up a chess table and began to piece together the puzzle.
They were so focused that she did not even notice the fact that the man sitting across from her had his knees positioned on either side of her own.
Talia poured all her attention into the work of connecting the small pieces to build a pointed tower.
To help her, he leaned his head in close and secured the small columns. Finally, one tower was completed. Talia smiled with pride. Then, she suddenly realized he was much too close and wore a look of discomfort. The man was pressing his body so tightly against hers that his wine-scented breath tickled her forehead.
She shifted her hips uncomfortably. But if she pulled away abruptly, it would likely create an awkward atmosphere.
Talia carefully turned her body to the side, pretending to look for other puzzle pieces in the box he had brought. Then, the man moved behind her, reached his arms around both sides of her waist as if to embrace her, and began rummaging through the box.
“So this is where it was.”
Talia stiffened. His long, muscular arms tightened around her waist. Feeling his hot, humid breath pouring over the nape of her neck, she curled her back as much as she could. Her heart hammered with fear of this unfamiliar situation. Yet, strangely, no sound escaped her lips.
He pushed his arms deeper into the box, pressing his body against her. Talia managed to squeeze out a voice.
“T-this… let go….”
“Wait… just a moment. Your body… gives off such a sweet scent.”
He pressed his nose against her shoulder and inhaled deeply.
Talia felt every nerve in her body stand on edge. Her skin became damp with cold sweat, and goosebumps rose along her spine.