1.
“I am not here to treat soldiers. I am accompanying you because I fear for your life, Your Highness. If you were to sustain an injury, you would require a doctor for emergency care. Isn’t that why you hired me?”
That was exactly why he had hired her. That was indeed why.
Diego tapped his thigh with his finger.
But why did it feel so wrong?
The answer seemed obvious. A sense of justice, or perhaps chivalry. He didn’t know what to call it, but regardless, he felt a prick of conscience.
“It is a rough place for a delicate woman. Although the camp is at the rear, you cannot be at ease even there. As you just heard, the enemy could launch a surprise attack at any moment. It would be best not to assume that swords and arrows will avoid you just because you are a woman.”
“I thought I was a capable surgeon, not the flower of high society.”
“…….”
For a moment, Diego was left speechless. A remark he had once made was returning to him like a boomerang.
Yes, she was not the frail young lady Diego had to protect. She was not a lady meant to hold soft hands and dance to music.
Irene Rios was his personal physician. The surgeon who would be the first to rush over and treat Diego should he be wounded. A germaphobic physician who wouldn’t even hold his hand, recoiling in repulsion if his gloved hand happened to brush against hers.
Yet, why did this feel so wrong?
Why.
“That place is where life and death intersect by a hair’s breadth. Do you not fear death?”
Diego tried to persuade her once more. Irene’s expressionless face faltered—just for a second. Diego, who had not taken his eyes off her, did not miss the flicker of emotion.
This was an Irene who feared carriage accidents and avoided ferocious dogs. To someone like her, a battlefield should be absolute terror.
But Irene, who had returned to her impassive mask in an instant, met his gaze. Diego stared fixedly at her tightly clenched fist, then at her steady, unwavering eyes.
“I will not die.”
“…….”
“I will not die. I will survive no matter what. My goal is to grow old and die. I will do my best to ensure that happens.”
“To grow old and die.”
“So, until then, I will not die. No matter what happens.”
The calm declaration, devoid of any inflection, sounded all the more desperate. Diego stared at her, his expression unreadable.
Then, he suddenly opened his mouth.
“Why do you want to live so much?”
It wasn’t a question he had thought through, but once he had uttered it, he found himself truly curious. Why was she so obsessed with life? Why was a life he found so utterly boring so precious to her?
Is life enjoyable and fun for Irene Rios every single moment?
That couldn’t be it.
Diego shook his head quietly, an expression crossing his face that suggested he knew the answer. Her life couldn’t possibly be any better than his own.
When she was with her family, she drifted aimlessly like oil on water, and her peers at the Royal Medical College treated her as if she were a different species entirely.
Witch, reaper, ice pick, cutthroat. Whatever the name, they never let Irene into their fold.
So, she, too, should find this life insufferable. She should be waiting for it to end.
Then why?
If he learned that answer, would his own life be a little easier to endure?
“…….”
However, Irene had no intention of resolving Diego’s curiosity. Silence seeped into the space between them.
She had no desire to answer that question, and Diego realized that if he did not back down, the silence would remain unbroken.
Thinking about it again, there was no reason why he couldn’t take Irene to the battlefield. No, if anyone was going, she was the one he had to take.
Wasn’t that why he had hired her in the first place?
Irene Rios was merely a diversion to make Diego’s life a little more amusing. There was no meaning beyond that, and no meaning below it.
“……Understood.”
Finally, Diego relented.
“We depart in an hour, so hurry with your preparations. If we leave now, we should arrive at the camp by sunset.”
With those words, Diego left the room. He walked hurriedly, almost as if he were running away.
“Yes.”
The reply, which came a beat too late because she was busy contemplating her supplies, lost its way and fell at Irene’s feet.
Only after the sound of footsteps crossing the hallway faded did Irene begin to move. She decided it would be best to pack everything she might need.
Especially medical herbs for hemorrhaging and plenty of bandages to wrap wounds. Even if they failed to be highly effective on Diego, they were better than nothing.
Having finished her thoughts, Irene began to busily rummage through her room.
* * *
Diego, surveying his party prepared for departure, raised one eyebrow. A puzzled voice escaped his lips.
“Physician Flich?”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
Miguel, dressed in a flamboyant coat, puffed out his chest as if to boast. The coat, embroidered with silver thread on purple satin, stood out starkly against the military uniforms.
“What are you doing here, Physician Flich?”
“Why, I am here to attend to Your Highness, of course.”
“You are?”
Diego narrowed his eyes, skeptical.
Who was Miguel Flich? Was he not the man who offered prayers of healing to soldiers with broken legs and prayers of heaven to those facing death?
“If I recall correctly, the last time Physician Flich followed me to the battlefield was at least a year ago.”
“Ahem.”
Clearing his throat with an awkward expression, Miguel glanced at Irene. Then, he replied in a shameless voice.
“Who else would attend to Your Highness if not me, the chief physician? You are heading to a battlefield where arrows fly thick; surely you cannot entrust your well-being to a novice physician?”
Ah.
Diego smiled gently, as if he finally understood. It seemed the man had decided to lift his heavy backside, fearing that Irene might earn some merit.
Then again, Physician Flich had been slacking on his duties as personal physician for some time.
It was better to release a catfish into a pond where carp frolicked every once in a while. Carp in a pond without natural predators only stagnate.
A catfish, he thought.
Diego slowly shifted his gaze toward her, wondering if she could truly become the catfish that eats the carp.
Irene, unaware of the stinging gaze directed at her, was staring at the carriage with a calm expression.
He was sometimes curious about what Irene was thinking. Her mind always seemed to be working busily; he wondered what on earth she was pondering.
Diego withdrew his gaze and praised Miguel with a mocking smile.
“As expected of Physician Flich.”
“Not at all, Your Highness. It is only what must be done.”
Miguel bowed ostentatiously, fully conscious of Irene. Of course, Irene’s gaze remained fixed on the carriage.
“Let’s depart.”
Diego mounted his horse, and Javier inspected the column. As if this weren’t their first time, the soldiers and servants, having packed their bags quickly, were waiting only for his command.
Miguel, walking with a waddle, got into a carriage, and Irene and Mia boarded the one behind it.
Adolf, who had walked up in front of the horse Diego was riding, implored him with a face full of sorrow.
“Please be careful, Your Highness. Never go to dangerous places. Think of His Majesty the King.”
“I know.”
Turning his head with a bored expression, Diego kicked the horse’s flanks. Adolf, who let out a low sigh, looked up at Javier.
“I leave His Highness in your care.”
Javier nodded once and set off to follow Diego. As if that were the signal, the stationary horses and carriages began to move.
“I hope nothing happens.”
Adolf swallowed a worried sigh as he watched Diego move away. Juana placed her hand on his arm, forcing a brave smile.
“Don’t worry, Adolf. His Highness has always returned in one piece, so it will be the same this time. Besides, Physician Rios is with him today.”
“That is true.”
Adolf tried to nod, but his face remained heavy with concern.
Irene glanced at the receding figures of Adolf and Juana, then cast her gaze out the window. Her demeanor was excessively calm, considering where she was headed.
It was all the more apparent compared to Mia, who sat across from her. Mia, who had been shifting in her seat, could no longer hold her peace and suddenly spoke.
“Are you not afraid, Physician Rios?”
Now that she had voiced it, the fear took on a sharper edge. Mia hugged her arms tightly and trembled.
“Norte shares a border with the Alvar Kingdom, but I have never witnessed a war. The fighting only took place at the border, and Norte’s castle is a long way from there. Thanks to the Grand Duke and the Divoa army, Alvar soldiers have never breached the castle walls. At least not in the last few years. So, war always sounded like a story from another country. But now that I am actually going to the battlefield…….”
Mia was on the verge of tears. The carriage had not yet even cleared the castle gates. The people who were busy living their lives had stopped to send cheers to Diego as he headed for the border.
“Grand Duke, show those Alvar dogs a lesson this time as well!”
“Show those barbarians the terror of the Kingdom of Divoa!”
“Glory to the Kingdom of Divoa!”
“Goddess of victory to Grand Duke Cassis!”
Mia looked at them with resentful eyes. Once upon a time, she, too, would have waved her hands among them and cheered. She had squealed, not knowing what the soldiers heading for the battlefield were actually feeling.
“People are going off to die, yet they can smile…….”
Mia finally pouted and grumbled. Irene, slowly turning her head, said in a dry tone.
“It’s not too late. You can go back if you want.”
At those words, Mia’s eyes widened. Just as Irene was about to call for the coachman, Mia grabbed her hand urgently.
For a moment, Irene held her breath.
I feel like maybe she witnessed her parents being tortured then killed it’s apparent it was not a normal death- then she suffered in “ hell” then was sent to the orphanage before Baron Rios took her in – that’s why she’s desperate to LIVE ( maybe it’s her parents last words TO LIVE ) I’m just guessing