‘Back then, I had to call the doctor myself; no one visited while I lay ill, and even after I recovered, I didn’t hear a single word asking if I was alright.’
And yet, now that I live as a maid, the master of this house called a doctor for me, watched over me, and even told me to get some more rest. He also told me that if I felt like crying, I should cry to my heart’s content and eat well to keep my strength up.
That if I just kept going like that, a good day would eventually come, so I should hang in there a little longer…
Edel clutched the handkerchief Laslo had given her tightly.
‘Yes, let’s keep going. A good day will surely come.’
Thinking that way, today felt like a truly good day as well. It was a day where I was treated with more humanity than when I lived as a Duchess.
That was why a smile bloomed.
“Edel unni, are you alright?”
Daisy asked, worried as she saw her smiling to herself. And Edel, feeling better than she ever had, beamed at her.
“Yes. I’m perfectly fine.”
* * *
After Edel had come with her pale face to thank him and left, Laslo sat at his desk until late, his thoughts heavy.
‘A person who nearly died comes to thank me the moment she gets up from bed? What on earth is there to be thankful for?’
Though Marsha was the one who had put Edel in that state, he was the one who had provided the fundamental cause. He was the one who had thrown a woman who had only ever known the life of an aristocrat into the role of a maid.
He couldn’t possibly have forgotten that, so he couldn’t understand why she would go as far as to thank him.
‘Do people born and raised as aristocrats stake their lives on maintaining etiquette?’
Even as he thought crookedly, the moment he recalled the clarity in her eyes and her composed demeanor, a strange tightness settled in his chest.
‘That Aillan fellow’s skill is truly something. He even managed to make that woman laugh.’
When the woman who always looked so cold and sorrowful burst into laughter, Laslo felt as if something had burst within him, too. He had no idea what it was, though.
Regardless, while Aillan had made Edel laugh, he had ruined her mood quite spectacularly by spouting nonsense about her being a ‘gift from His Majesty the Emperor.’
He hadn’t meant any malice, but somehow, he had struck her most painful wound entirely by surprise.
Yet, just like any other time, Edel had responded with grace and composure. She had lowered herself and tried to understand Laslo’s position.
‘How can she be like that?’
He didn’t believe in the so-called dignity or cultivation of the aristocrats in the slightest. What was so great about making up ridiculous rules among themselves and following them?
But Edel was different. She didn’t seem to be putting on airs; she appeared to be embodying what true, ingrained dignity looked like.
That was why, whenever he stood before her, the scent of the wind that clung to his own body felt fishy to him all over again.
‘Even if it is hypocrisy, it’s quite something if it goes that far. And if it’s not hypocrisy… then it might have just made her life even harder.’
Looking at the reports related to the treason of the Duke of Lancaster that had recently begun to trickle in, the latter seemed more plausible.
According to the testimony of the Duke’s butler, who had been caught while trying to flee, Edel Lancaster had been a Duchess in name only. The Duke’s servants, including the Duke’s mistress, treated Edel as an outsider, and the Duke’s youngest daughters, who were around her age, openly looked down on her.
“But she never showed a sign of weakness. She was kind to the servants and faithfully carried out her duties. Once she became the Duchess, I even felt that my life had become more comfortable.”
Unlike the way he criticized the Duke’s children, the butler testified quite favorably regarding Edel.
Through him, he also confirmed that Edel knew nothing of the Duke’s treason, nor even the secret passages within the Ducal castle.
It was a relief, and at the same time, a misfortune.
‘Because thanks to that, my heart has become even more uncomfortable.’
The moment that uncomfortable feeling reached its peak was when Edel had cried earlier.
At the mere mention of the word ‘ordinary,’ the sight of her shedding tears had stirred a sympathy he hadn’t expected.
From being born the daughter of a greedy Count, to living as the flower of society, the second wife of an old Duke, and a war prize—looking at the course of her life up to the current state of serving as a maid, her existence was far from ordinary.
He didn’t know what level of ‘ordinary’ she yearned for, but it was certain that she had dreamt of a simple life.
So he understood why she wept.
What had flustered him was that he had no handkerchief in his trouser pockets or his vest pocket.
‘Damn it, who knew I’d need a handkerchief!’
It was fortunate that there was one in the first desk drawer he checked. It looked shabby, creased and folded, but he thought it would look even worse to start rummaging everywhere for something else, so he had just handed it over.
That much was fine, but he hadn’t expected the woman to cry even more upon receiving it.
The sight of those slender shoulders trembling so minutely had been so pathetic.
‘I almost hugged her.’
It was a truly close call.
He remembered once finding a fawn in the mountains that had been drenched in the rain when he was fifteen and holding it; he never imagined he would feel the same emotion seeing a fully-grown woman.
He had wanted to hold her tight until Edel stopped crying and calmed down. Just like he had held that shivering fawn until the rain stopped.
‘But if I did that to a woman, I’d be branded a lecher.’
He was well aware that the aristocrats loathed his appearance.
His messily cut hair, his patchy beard, skin burned by the sun and dried by the wind, his large frame, and the scars covering his entire body—to say nothing of the backs of his hands and his forearms…
He remembered hearing that he was decent-looking when he was young, but he had been too busy working to make money to care about his appearance. And so, he had ended up like this.
That was why he always consciously reminded himself never to approach women or children recklessly.
‘Still, to push her out of the room like that… am I out of my mind? Spewing strange words in the name of comfort.’
The words he used to comfort her were ridiculous, too.
He had actually issued a ‘command’ for her to go to her room, cry her fill, eat plenty, and get some good sleep.
‘A sick person should eat well and sleep well—should she eat less and stay up all night instead? Tsk.’
Due to the embarrassing memory resurfacing, Laslo buried his face in both hands.
‘At least it’s a relief that I came to my senses before meeting the Dowager Marchioness Celestine.’
Speaking of which, it could have been a disaster.
A few days ago, a formal invitation had arrived from the Celestine Marquis family to have tea together, and it was obvious that Edel’s name would inevitably come up during that meeting.
But for Edel to collapse with a fever at a time like this.
‘If I had been even a little late in finding her and she had died, I would have surely made an enemy of the Celestine Marquis family.’
If that had happened, he might have really ended up slashing Marsha.
‘Thankfully, she got up just fine, so the worst was averted, but if the Dowager were to insist on seeing Edel’s condition in person… what a situation that would be.’
He could clearly picture the look of piercing disdain she would shoot at him.
She would surely believe that any reply Edel had sent was written under his coercion.
‘The Celestine Marquis family is quite a decent house. The previous Marquis was sickly so they had remained quiet until now, but they are deep-rooted and have substance. And it was the Dowager who led them.’
He had planned to use this opportunity to build a rapport with the Marquis or the Dowager and pull them into the Emperor’s faction, so it had been a very close call.
But then, a question occurred to him.
‘Just how far does Dowager Celestine intend to help Edel?’
At a time when everyone else was playing it safe regarding the Lancaster Ducal family, Barbara Celestine had even moved the head of the family for Edel’s sake.
That was no small matter. The fact that the invitation had arrived only now, long after he had sent Edel’s reply, was proof that the process had not been easy.
‘Whatever the case, I’ll have to meet them in person and gauge the atmosphere. Perhaps they are just using Edel as an excuse to test His Majesty the Emperor through me.’
Laslo sorted out his desk without deciding on anything rashly.
Since there was no butler, he had to check all the ledgers of money and goods himself, so all sorts of documents and receipts were piled up in a mess on the desk.
Seeing them, irritation surged within him before he could stop it.
‘If only Lynnia…’
‘If I marry her off, I’ll shut the doors of this mansion.’
Laslo lay down on his bed, pushing his work aside while wallowing in such unproductive thoughts.
Then, suddenly, the words he had said to Edel came to mind.
“A good day will come as you live. I know it’s hard right now, but please, just endure a little longer.”
It was something he could say to himself, but if anyone had offered him such consolation, he would have flared up in anger.
‘Until when am I supposed to endure? Why on earth did I say something like that?’
Why had he said that to Edel, who was already holding on and enduring with all her might?
Laslo felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over him again, and he punched his quilt hard.
It seemed he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep easily tonight either.