27.
Ekian stayed up all night. Despite the fatigue, his mind felt strangely clear even after returning to the Gray Information Guild.
He could still vividly picture Judith babbling away as she lay in his bed. At the same time, he felt as if he were unraveling, consumed by a corrosive, silent self-loathing.
“Cursed Imperial Prince.”
When he had heard the truth from Bart, he truly wanted to die. Once he realized he wasn’t a true member of the Ducal House, he had clung to a sliver of hope that there might be some other way out.
But the reality he uncovered was uglier and more horrifying than he could have ever imagined.
“This time, I shall tell you about your biological mother.”
He felt a profound, visceral revulsion for his own existence. It was the same nausea he had felt at seventeen, when he had only grasped a fraction of the darkness.
Yet, he hadn’t been able to die. Not at seventeen, and not now.
Dying was a truly difficult thing to do.
‘Ah, if only Judith hadn’t told me about the bomb…’
If she hadn’t, he would have perished alongside the people of the alley. Even if the bomb had gone off and caused chaos, he might not have bothered to avoid it. He had convinced himself that would have been a fitting end for a life that had been tainted since its inception.
‘But…’
The bomb had been removed, and he remained alive. Even in his confusion, the memories of Judith remained etched in his mind, sharp and vivid.
Judith laughing in his room. Judith lying on his bed. Judith pulling him down to lie with her, locking eyes with him. Judith comforting him with warmth, completely unaware of his circumstances. Judith sleeping like a child, eyes closed, in the bed he always used.
‘Ha…’
Perhaps because she was in his own space, it felt as if she were truly his. Judith, who casually called herself “Ekian’s wife,” even felt lovely to him from time to time. She had said she liked him in the past. He found himself regretting that he hadn’t known the Judith of those days.
In the end, he watched her quietly until dawn broke, leaving the Mayous Ducal Mansion only after hearing the maids stirring.
Whenever he spoke with Judith, it felt as if emotions he thought had long since withered were clawing their way back to life. Anger, absurdity, bewilderment, and even joy.
He didn’t want to examine them, fearing that if he acknowledged their true nature, he would sink into an even deeper quagmire.
‘How did things end up like this? Why on earth did Judith have to enter the Mayous Ducal Mansion…’
The past three years, they had regarded each other only as dry subjects of a transaction. If Ekian had seen her as a woman sooner, he would have paid off her debts, and there would have been no need for her to step foot in the Mayous Ducal House.
In truth, it was only natural he hadn’t viewed her as a woman until now. She had been a minor. He had simply viewed her as a hard-working kid, and because she provided good information, he had watched over her. When he first saw her, she had looked quite youthful…
‘But when did she grow up like that…’
Once Isabella decided to dress her up properly, she became a beauty by anyone’s standard. For the first time, Ekian felt a tinge of resentment toward Isabella’s habit of showering people with everything she had if she liked them. Was there really a need to dress up a daughter-in-law who officially had a husband like that…?
‘Why did Mother… No, she’s not my mother anymore.’
Thinking of the biological mother he learned about last night, Ekian bit his lip. Hearing of a mother he hadn’t even expected to exist made him realize there was a place he needed to go.
That was when it happened.
A young man’s voice echoed from outside.
“Excuse me. Is this the Gray Information Guild?”
Ekian, his senses sharply honed, knew at once. That bashful-sounding voice belonged to Hyude Lamis.
The very bastard who had been drinking with Judith yesterday. The guy Judith herself said she “could talk to easily.” He hadn’t been able to hear their conversation because he was busy visiting Bart, but!
Ekian’s face hardened instantly.
“Yes, it is. How can I help you?”
The clerk, who always guarded the entrance, asked professionally. Hyude replied in a gentle voice.
“I have a letter to deliver. Um, for Judith… Baroness Aylan. I was told it’s a letter for the Master…”
“Yes, leave it here and I will make sure it is delivered.”
“I promised to deliver it in person. Could I perhaps meet the person called the Master and give it to them?”
“That is difficult. The Master only meets a very select few, major clients.”
“Ah…”
Hyude sighed as if he had no choice.
Ekian pondered for a moment before crossing his arms. He didn’t know much about Hyude Lamis. He was the physician who had arrived after Ekian had already departed the Ducal Mansion. Watching through the gaps of the secret passage, he hadn’t seen his face clearly.
Driven by an impulsive urge, Ekian donned his mask and spoke toward the door in a stiff tone.
“Let him in. If it’s a letter from Judith, I should receive it myself.”
“Yes, Master.”
The clerk opened the door. Hyude followed the stairs, walking cautiously. The neat-looking young man looked around with a curious expression, then flinched when he saw Ekian wearing the mask.
“Ah, hello.”
“Please, sit.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Hyude seemed startled by the mask, but he politely composed his surprise, flashed a pleasant smile, and sat down.
After scanning Hyude’s appearance, Ekian muttered to himself involuntarily.
‘Damn it.’
Neatly groomed, smooth brown hair. Clear green eyes, a deeper shade than Judith’s. He possessed a lean, well-proportioned physique, so even in inexpensive clothes, he carried himself with an air of quality. His upright posture and kind impression made him look more noble than most aristocrats.
‘Judith said she liked handsome men.’
He had hoped that seeing him up close might reveal him to be subtly flawed. That was not the case at all. On the contrary, his affable demeanor seemed far more likely to make others feel at ease than the gloomy-looking Ekian.
“Here, I’ve come to deliver this letter.”
Hyude handed the letter over. On the envelope was the round, bubbly handwriting that looked to be Judith’s.
“Is that so?”
Ekian received the letter with a relaxed tone.
“If it is a letter from Judith, I should naturally receive it myself. She is a very special and close client of mine.”
He had intentionally flaunted his intimacy with Judith, but Hyude only smiled more softly.
“Other partners who have visited before all said the same. Judith must have been really good at her job.”
“……”
It backfired.
Ekian hid his displeasure behind his mask and opened the letter.
The contents were simple. She asked to find out, as quickly as possible, the current whereabouts and activities of Marquis and Marchioness Shoden. He didn’t know why she was suddenly curious, but he figured she had her reasons. The location of the couple wasn’t particularly hard to find.
‘But why? Suddenly asking for the Shodens…’
Right then and there, he wrote a brief reply regarding their whereabouts and handed it to Hyude.
“You can deliver this as the answer. Thank you.”
“Yes, well…”
Hyude, who should have known to take the hint and leave, hesitated and rolled his eyes. Then, he asked in a serious tone.
“By the way, is this a place that handles information?”
“That is correct.”
“Then, if I tell you what I would like to know, will you give me an answer?”
“If it is possible. What do you wish to know?”
“Ah, that is…”
Hyude blushed slightly. Fidgeting with his fingers, he spoke cautiously.
“Actually, there is a woman I’ve taken a liking to. It hasn’t been long since we met, but she’s pretty, kind, and we talk so well together… she’s a woman who is loved by many others besides me, a woman you truly cannot help but like.”
Ekian’s expression hardened stiffly behind the mask.
“But I’ve never been interested in women until now, and I’m very ignorant about such things.”
Hyude was blushing to the tips of his ears now.
“Would you perhaps be able to teach me how to approach her cautiously, without being a burden?”
Oh, for heaven’s sake?