The Youngest Member Filming a Parenting Show is Adorable

This child was not his daughter.

“So, what exactly is this?”

“It is a life form you are to raise, My Lord. In other words, a daughter.”

Diegon rubbed his forehead at his aide’s explanation.

He had returned from quelling a group of pirates just yesterday evening, his first time home in half a year. But after waking up, he suddenly had a daughter.

How was he supposed to describe that thing with its wide, round eyes?

A baby flower crab.
A baby starfish…?

“A baby sea squirt?”

The child puffed up her cheeks, clearly displeased.

It was absurd enough that she understood what a sea squirt was at her age, but the pillowy softness of those cheeks was even more baffling.

*‘Why are they so ready to pop?’*

On top of that, something that looked suspiciously like butter was smeared across them.

“Butter? Did you bring her to me slathered in butter so I could eat her?”

“My Lord, the child is crying! You look fearsome enough as it is!”

His aide, Carmine, panicked and covered the child’s ears.

However, the child scrunched up her nose as if she had understood every word. It was quite amusing to see someone so small clearly express her likes and dislikes.

“You couldn’t possibly have picked her up yourself.”

“Of course not.”

“Then?”

“It is a choice made by the Ancestor Whale. You must accept her. She is the most potent Attuner of this generation.”

Diegon narrowed his eyes.

The child, who had been staring at him, mimicked his expression.

Finding it preposterous, he turned his gaze toward Carmine, who quietly added, “They say she is much smarter than her peers.”

“Hmph.”

“Furthermore, her primary teacher testified that the spot where her Bijou will bloom has already appeared. She is undoubtedly an ‘Awakener’.”

Bijou.
The mark of an ‘Awakener.’

But Diegon had never heard of a four-year-old developing a Bijou spot in his life. Even if it were true—

“Why me? It would be better to send her to my eldest sister, who has no children.”

He already had two sons.
And he had once had… a youngest daughter, too.

It was no secret that seven years ago, he had lost both his wife and daughter in an unprecedented storm. Ever since, he had gone half-mad, scouring the seas and raiding every pirate den he could find.

“Ahem. The Head of House has sent a message.”

Noticing his refusal, the child’s expression brightened slightly.

*‘Wait, she brightened up?’*

Where in the world was there a child who would welcome a man who didn’t want to be her father? Besides, she hadn’t cried. She had sat there, acting as if this strange and uncomfortable situation were familiar to her.

It wasn’t a normal behavioral pattern for a child… no, for a tiny baby.

Feeling an inexplicable discomfort in his chest, Diegon shut his mouth. He felt as though he had done something terrible to the child when she had done nothing wrong.

*‘Of all things, she has pink hair. It makes me wonder if my daughter would have looked just like her.’*

But this child could never, ever be his lost daughter.

“The Head of House said, ‘That reckless fourth son of mine—if he gains a daughter again, maybe he’ll finally live like a human being!’”

Diegon let out a sigh, letting Carmine’s words go in one ear and out the other.

That’s right. This child is not his daughter.
Because if she were alive, his daughter would have been nine years old this year.

***

*‘Wow, he’s big.’*

That was the first thought I had when I saw the Mister.

Big.
Really big.
Super-duper big.

Then I had another thought:

*‘He’s super handsome.’*

I felt a little hurt when he called me a bumpy sea squirt… I almost teared up, too… but I held it in.

Because!
Because!

I am the class president!

*‘Ahem.’*

Even though I had been snatched up without even having the chance to wipe the butter off my cheeks, I was the Class President of the Carrot Class at the Public Ppeokkeum-Ppeokkeum Daycare.

*‘So, I have to be brave. There must have been some mistake.’*

I even know difficult words like ‘mistake.’ I read it in a real book, not one of those fairy tales for snot-nosed kids. The book was titled, *‘Mommy and Baby Bake Yummy Cookies!’*

Why did I read a book like that?
Because the Carrot Class kids are destined to become kitchen maids or servants! You could say I was studying ahead. And I had no complaints about my life.

The Public Ppeokkeum-Ppeokkeum Daycare raises and feeds children who lost their parents to pirate raids. They even carefully arrange future jobs for us!

From the moment my consciousness began to form, I could talk, and since I was much smarter than the other babies, I asked right away. Even in the midst of it all, I chose a man who looked a bit kinder, rather than the scary, handsome Mister.

“Mister, can I not do cooking now?”

“Pardon? When you become a Young Lady, the maids will naturally handle such things.”

*Thump!*

That was my dream!
The Carrot Class teacher was my favorite person. I really wanted to wear that long hat that only the teacher could wear!

I wanted to express that wish, but even though my thoughts were mature, the words wouldn’t come out well. It was because, strangely enough, my body was smaller than the other kids.

I was the smallest in the Carrot Class.
My height, my build, my hands, my feet.
Small enough that people would mistake me for a two-and-a-half or three-year-old.

And I’m already four!

“So, little one.”

That was when I had become quite serious about the threat to my future.

***

Diegon asked out of duty.

“What is your name?”

“Chu….”

“Chu?”

She shook her pink hair, which fluttered like cotton candy, and opened her mouth once more. She even sighed, as if explaining it again because he hadn’t understood, which was absurd.

“Nooo, Chuu. Chu! U!”

“So, it’s Shu.”

As if a person’s name could be Chuu. Diegon reached a conclusion through highly rational thinking. The child puffed up her chubby cheeks as if dissatisfied, but Diegon lightly ignored her.

Actually, he did want to poke that cheek once to see if he could make her cry.

“The tiny thing is quite… like an angry crab.”

At that, the child’s clear, spotless eyes shook violently. She looked as if she had received some kind of shocking blow—*thump!*—and once again, his chest felt uncomfortable.

He couldn’t understand why she reacted that way when he had used such an appropriate metaphor. His sons would have laughed with delight at a comment like that.

Diegon glared at his aide, who was clicking his tongue nearby.
*As if you’d know. A bachelor like you. I’m much better at handling children.*

“How old?”

“Four.”

“Four? And you still can’t talk properly?”

Thinking of the monster-like children of his own house, Diegon spoke thoughtlessly. Even his own sons were riding dolphins by the time they were four. Or running crazily across the sea. Oh, they had even plucked the reverse scale of a mermaid and ran away. Because of that, he had a very bad relationship with the mermaids and struggled for a while.

But the thing in front of him clearly wasn’t that type.

“You weren’t sent here for me to eat, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with you.”

Diegon fixed his gaze on the name tag pinned to the child’s chest. On the bright yellow, sunflower-shaped name tag, the word ‘President’ was written in large letters.

And, true to being a president, the child began her self-introduction.

“I have something I want to say.”

*Just as I thought, it must have been a mistake that she seemed to not want to be my daughter. Because, obviously, that couldn’t be the case. Who in the world would turn down the opportunity to become an aristocrat?*

“I can bake cookies really well.”

“Hmm. And?”

“And… I eat well too. That’s why I’m all chubby.”

“Useless. I don’t eat sweets. I detest them.”

“Then…?”

“I eat children who don’t listen.”

*Thump-thump!*

That was the third *thump*. He almost let out a snort of laughter because it was funny, but he awkwardly brushed his lips. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had laughed.

What was this, anyway?

Stiffening his expression again, he gave a cold instruction.

“I’m sending her back. Prepare for it.”

“Y-yes….”

“Answer properly.”

“Yes, My Lord.”

*It seems my senile father has…*
It seems he was in the mood for a friendly round of fisticuffs after all this time.

Thinking this, he gritted his teeth.

The child herself was innocent, but he simply could not tolerate the fact that they had brought him a kid who reminded him of his daughter.

However, a moment later.

For the first time in his thirty-seven years of life, Diegon experienced the humiliation of being rejected to his face.

This was before he could even say that he wouldn’t adopt her as his daughter.

“I… I not be Mister’s daughter. I want cookie.”

Look at this cheeky little thing.

Diegon’s pride was wounded.