1.
In cold, desolate Lyussenford, heating technology was a necessity. Every household kept five or six soapstone warmers, and even the men, when idle, made a hobby of knitting fluffy, insulating textiles.
However, Kaella had learned last night that a person’s body temperature was far warmer than any such device.
“I’ll stop here for now, so go to sleep.”
Peon, who had been gnawing at her neck like a madman, suddenly smiled tenderly and brushed the corners of her eyes.
“Why…?”
“When you are healthier, then.”
His voice was incredibly languid, thick with seduction. His chest, heaving against her narrow shoulders as he rested his forehead there, felt heavy and dangerous—as if he were restraining himself with every ounce of his will. His flushed eyes and the veins pulsing in his neck betrayed the composure he struggled to maintain.
“We’ll do a little more then.”
Perhaps because he had maintained a deep relationship with Beatrice for so long, he handled her with considerable skill.
*‘Even more than then… no, that was years from now. How could he say that?’*
As Kaella recalled a certain night, she drifted off to sleep, guided by the hand stroking her hair. When she greeted the morning, radiating a warmth that reached her very marrow, she realized Peon had promised a future for a second time. One night was not the end.
“Did you sleep well?”
He had stayed with her until dawn, holding her tightly. As if he had never intended to pretend the night hadn’t happened, he kissed her forehead and cheeks before sitting up.
Knowing how busy Peon usually was—rising at dawn to train and inspect the army—Kaella was too stunned to answer. Even for her, who had been through so much, waking up in the same bed with him was a first.
“Why are you looking at me with those eyes?”
Peon smiled softly, leaning down to brush his lips against the corner of her eye. As she blinked, the massive, solid body holding her close shook with a soft chuckle. As if they were one, he shared her temperature.
“You must be… you are busy.”
“Ah, it is morning, so it is time to maintain etiquette again. I am not busy, Vi.”
*Chu, chu.* The kisses raining down on her cheeks and shoulders did not stop. Who had called him indifferent, devoid of emotion? Kaella wondered if Peon, who kept smiling at her, was drunk. She had only seen him smile this much once before, when he was truly intoxicated.
“How is your body? Are you not tired?”
Kaella shook her head, at a loss for words. Since she was unfamiliar with such intimacy, she felt frustrated by her inability to answer with grace, but it couldn’t be helped. What could she do about her lack of experience?
“I see. That is enough, then. Let us have breakfast here together.”
“Yes?”
Eating together, too? When she asked back in surprise, Peon’s eyes fell into a dejected look in an instant.
“Do you dislike it?”
It was the first time she had seen a man who was terrifying, inscrutable, and yet so alluring that she couldn’t look away, appear so discouraged. Kaella, witnessing so many “firsts” today, broke into a cold sweat just looking at Peon, who could only be described as deflated.
“Was yesterday the last time we would dine together?”
“No, that’s not it, Your Highness…”
“I know that because of your strong sense of responsibility, you changed your way of speaking after marriage to be more faithful to your duty, but isn’t dining a natural thing between a married couple?”
It seemed the husband she met after death was also hurt by the tone she had become accustomed to using for the past four years. It was ironic that Peon was hurt by the distance she had kept, a distance that had taken root because he had refused to treat her like a Grand Duchess, let alone a wife.
“It is natural, isn’t it?”
To his prodding, Kaella pursed her lips and eventually nodded. His gaze was so affectionate she couldn’t meet it. It was too awkward, too strange. The Peon she knew was nothing like this. Or rather, he was only like this when they were young.
Is he a different person? Then is this reality, or another world? Could that be it?
“Yes. Rise slowly.”
As a clear laugh broke in her ear, he kissed her cheek once more, seemingly unable to let go. Peon, watching Kaella hold onto her blankets, unable to distinguish whether this was a dream or reality, finally gave in to the urge to cup her face and kiss her. Even under the morning light that chased away the haze of her dream and exposed this fantasy as cold reality, he simply could not come to his senses. No, it was because Kaella, revealed in the morning light, was excessively beautiful. She was the most radiant creature he knew.
Now, he wanted to speak without holding back.
“Seeing you in the morning, my Vi is even prettier.”
He said it happily, even though her face was surely puffy. Yet it was Peon who remained refreshingly handsome as ever.
“You are beautiful.”
He said it once more. The more he spoke, the clearer it became that he had kept these words buried for a lifetime. He should have looked straight at Kaella instead of turning away. He should have stolen glances at her more, even if he felt it a waste. He should have listened to the sound of her voice instead of avoiding her. And he should have said much, much more.
He had thought the emotions he forcibly blocked, ignored, and buried had been interred and died. But the more he looked at her, spoke, and faced her, the more his emotions mocked him, rising like a tide. It was a weight he couldn’t manage. It was so vast that the act of burying them had been a sin. To ignore them, even when they refused to die, was irresponsible and base. Perhaps he was still ignoring the truth even now.
“Eat plenty.”
In front of the breakfast tray brought to the bed, he prayed and prayed. The warmth he was feeling for the first time in decades was too precious to face the truth. So he prayed. *It isn’t time yet, so just a little longer. Just a little longer. Please.*
Peon, whose only physical contact with the opposite sex had been the kiss Beatrice had forced upon him like a seal, had found it an ordeal to hold back the impulse to touch Kaella more last night.
He was clumsy, and all he knew about the duties of a married couple was the lewd talk of soldiers.
At any rate, he knew that women were often in pain. Peon looked at Kaella, sitting by his side, marveling anew at how small she was.
“Your Highness, please eat, too.”
“Yes.”
Her shoulders were so narrow; if he held her like this, she would fit perfectly in his arms. And so, he had to endure and endure to become more skillful.
“Is it to your taste?”
When he asked, she nodded. She had answered. Perhaps this time, it could be a new opportunity. Perhaps this time, they could be happy. No, even if it wasn’t happiness, even if it were only for a tiny moment, he wanted to do the things he hadn’t been able to do for her.
“What will you do today?”
“I have work to do.”
“Do not overdo it. Only do enough so that you do not get bored.”
Kaella was weak. She was weak enough to die from his cold treatment and indifference. His indifference had had a reason—because he couldn’t betray Beatrice and his mother, and because there was a high possibility that Kaella was a spy for the Emperor.
Thinking about it now, those reasons, which could only be called foolish and pathetic, felt justified at the time when evidence emerged that Kaella was the Emperor’s agent. The wall he had built for four years had paid off then.
“Yes.”
“Do not bother yourself too much with guests, either. The only thing we need to care about is the investigator, not Lady Lavalle. Do not pay any attention to her.”
If he could do even a little bit of what he should have done for her, even now, he would give his life. It was fine if he was criticized for only satisfying himself.
“Yes?”
“Yes.”
Though he had received an answer, Peon had no intention of ever feeling at ease. He trusted that Kaella would manage well on her own. It was Beatrice Lavalle he did not trust.
Before he regressed, no matter how much the indifferent Peon tried to ignore things, there were always many petty disputes involving Kaella. Those things piled up and exploded into a major event, and he wondered how many things had happened in the shadows, places he wasn’t watching.
He added a red mark to Kaella’s pale skin, to her neck and shoulders exposed in the morning light.
“Y-Your Highness?”
“Yes.”
“It, it is morning…!”
Kaella, her face dyed bright red, clutched at his clothes. She could only hold them; she couldn’t even push him away.
“Yes. It is morning, so my beautiful Vi is even clearer to see.”
“Ah, you shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t, when it’s morning…!”
“Do a married couple have to set aside a specific time to love each other? I have never heard of such a law.”
Kaella squeezed her eyes shut and hunched her shoulders. She had been dazed from just waking up, but the sight of her neck, cheeks, and ears flushing red was, to him, adorable.
“You may be ashamed of the morning sunlight, my chaste Vi…”
Every time Peon did this, Kaella thought that she hadn’t returned to the past, but had fallen into an entirely different world.
There was no way Peon would do this. There was no way the cold, indifferent Grand Duke of Lyussenford would hold her waist and kiss the nape of her neck in the bright morning. The arm draped over her waist had loosened, but it was heavy, effectively pinning her in his embrace. Her skin tingled where his lips touched; Kaella shook her head and hunched her shoulders.
“The day can also be just as intimate.”
In the end, Kaella buried her face in her hands and lowered her head. Peon, holding her, laughed aloud.
He laughed clearly, and even while her face burned, Kaella thought the sound was pleasant. So, when he suddenly stopped, she wondered and peeked through her fingers.
Why did he stop?
Peon had a stunned expression, as if he had realized something.
“…Because of you, Vi… I am laughing for the first time in a very long time.”
It had been so long that the way his muscles moved when he laughed felt awkward. For years, all he had done was provide formal, hollow smiles. He stared at her blankly before laughing again.
“It is all thanks to you, Vi.”
“I haven’t done anything…”
Truly, she hadn’t. Even though she thought she wouldn’t harbor feelings for Lyussenford or Peon, she couldn’t turn away as harshly as if she were cutting them with a blade. She thought she was still dragging things out, lingering and wallowing in self-pity, just as she had before she died.
“Even if you do nothing, it is enough.”
He had done things he usually wouldn’t, but for Peon to be this way to a woman who had desperately run away because she didn’t want to marry him was even stranger.
He stroked her shoulder, revealed between her pajamas, and then affectionately pulled the collar back up.
“If you are ashamed, wear clothes that cover this place today. Please, do not be angry that I had so many made.”
“What?”
Kaella tilted her head. Peon took her hand and rubbed the tender skin on the inside of her wrist.
“Like this.”
He explained what happens when he sucked hard and deep, as he had all night.
“Such a mark remains. Since your skin is delicate, Vi, it leaves a deeper mark. I will keep that in mind for the future.”
When Kaella understood the situation a few seconds later and scrambled to pull up her collar, Peon laughed happily again.
“I, I will cover it all!”
“Yes. It is good for insulation if you cover your neck.”
What a cheeky man! Kaella fumed and wrapped her hands around her neck. While she was doing that, Peon cut a piece of the egg dish and fed it to her mouth.
She could eat by herself! But she didn’t want to take her hands away! Kaella glared at the omelet and finally parted her lips slightly to accept it. If not now, when else would she ever get to eat food fed to her by Peon?
“…I have no intention of interfering with your attire, Vi, but just in case, I am telling you—do not forget the ring I gave you.”
“The ring?”
“Yes. You must wear both. The second diamond is being crafted, so please wait.”
“However…”
I knew it. Peon looked down at the hesitant Kaella.
“However, Your Highness. If Lady Lavalle sees the diamond, there will be rumors all over Krain.”
Diamonds were the most precious of luxury goods. If the Emperor, who was greedy, learned through Beatrice that the Grand Duchess of Lyussenford was wearing a diamond ring of unusual size, the Emperor would continue to pressure Peon, whom he had always kept under his thumb.
“I want you to wear it specifically for that reason.”
“But if His Majesty finds out, wouldn’t he ask where it came from?”
“Cannot a man give his wife a single piece of jewelry? He will not say anything.”
“If you give me another, then that will be a problem.”
“Three should be fine, Vi.”
A heavy bracelet, a heavy necklace—that level would be fine. Because what the Grand Duke of Lyussenford does for his wife is also related to the prestige of the Emperor who arranged this marriage.
But after that, the Emperor would begin to suspect. *Where is the money coming from in Lyussenford that that fellow is adorning his wife with such large diamonds?*
“His Majesty will be pleased as well. And after that, I will finish things so that you will have nothing to worry about.”
“You must give to His Majesty, too, Your Highness. Whatever it is, you must give him something better than mine.”
Only then could she survive.
Kaella, who had been speaking earnestly while holding onto Peon, suddenly thought:
*Survive? Who? Who is supposed to survive when I decided to die? Kaella De Chasseur, me?*
*…Or, this man?*
“Yes.”
Peon hesitated for a moment before nodding.
“I will do so.”
Such a thing would not happen, but instead of an irresponsible “It’s fine” because he couldn’t explain the reason, it was better to be the husband who listened to his wife. And so he gave the answer she wanted, but the blue eyes looking at him were shaking wildly.