“I heard strange noises in the night.”
“Did you? I didn’t hear anything.”
I said this calmly, clearing my hoarse throat. My voice was a wreck from screaming at the top of my lungs all night. When I coughed under my breath, Vincent, who had ears like a hawk, immediately looked over. Pretending nothing was wrong, I poured water into an empty cup and placed it in his hand.
He gripped the cup, his expression puzzled. Beside him, Lucas suddenly held out his own empty vessel. Having barged in at dawn to avoid eating alone, he was now forcing himself into our morning meal.
“Paula, give me some too.”
“…….”
I poured the water without even looking at his face. *Thank you.* I didn’t even acknowledge the words. Lucas offered an embarrassed smile.
A stiff, brittle atmosphere hung in the room. The only sound was the sharp clatter of cutlery against china. Vincent seemed to feel it too, his brows drawing together.
“Did something happen?”
“Hm? What do you mean?”
“The two of you.”
“Nothing happened.”
Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. I emphasized every syllable, and Vincent went silent. Lucas drank his water quietly. I busied myself clearing the plates, making enough noise that the china clattered aggressively.
When I left the room, Lucas followed. I still refused to look at him.
“You’re very angry.”
“…….”
“I’m sorry for locking the door. I did it, and then I got a little scared.”
“…….”
“Paula.”
“…….”
When I didn’t answer despite his repeated calls, the footsteps behind me ceased. Only my own echoed in the silent hallway. I kept my eyes fixed ahead and quickened my pace. I was that angry.
You jerk. You bad man. How could he say something like that as a joke? I had been so shocked that my breath hitched and my mind went blank.
In that moment, he had seemed to be speaking his truth. That was what terrified me—the realization that his sincerity could be so chilling. When he claimed it was a joke, my mind had simply gone numb. I was relieved, yes—it was a lie, a jest—but beneath that relief, the anger burned white-hot.
Lucas kept trailing behind me, begging for forgiveness. I persisted in my silence. I knew he was gauging my mood, trying his best to soothe me, but this time, I wouldn’t yield. It was the only thing I could do. I couldn’t exactly curse at him or hit him, though in my heart, I wanted to scream “you jerk” and pull his hair out.
He should consider himself lucky.
But even thinking about it again…
“It’s really too much.”
As the anger surged, I put strength into my hand, crumpling the paper I was holding. I gritted my teeth.
“No, there’s a limit to looking down on people. What? A joke? If you tell such unfunny jokes in this world, do you think you’re funny!”
I was panting, blurting out curses, before I caught myself. I exhaled and looked down at the text in front of me. It was a scene where the protagonist’s traveling companion was speaking.
[Don’t do it. I can’t let you sacrifice yourself.]
[I will do anything for you.]
“No, who are you to sacrifice yourself!”
Are you that special? Huh? The rage surged again. I was shouting about how self-important these characters were before I clamped my teeth shut. The paper was crushed beyond recognition.
“Master, you think so too, right? It’s really too much, isn’t it?”
“What are you talking about, all of a sudden?”
Vincent, who had been listening to the story as I read, frowned. I didn’t back down. I slammed my hand on the table and railed against the protagonist’s companion for their complacent, self-sacrificing attitude. I complained that they never considered the people around them. Vincent looked at me as if I were a madwoman.
A joke? Fine, a joke! Let’s see how far you go with your jokes, you jerk! Did he say he was Ethan Christopher’s brother? Now that I look at it, he’s exactly like him. Making people miserable.
I slammed the table again. *Bang! Bang! Bang!* My hand throbbed, but the anger wouldn’t subside.
“Stop.”
He caught my fist and restrained me. I breathed heavily, my sanity slowly creeping back. Embarrassment welled up as the haze cleared. When I tried to pull my hand away, Vincent held on even tighter.
“Something happened with Lucas.”
“No.”
I answered firmly, but he was already suspicious. His sharp gaze seemed to pierce through me. I rolled my eyes to the side, avoiding his look.
“Something unpleasant happened.”
“What was it?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Tell me.”
When I stubbornly kept my mouth shut, Vincent sighed. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t even want to voice it. It wasn’t something good for him to hear, either.
*“I will give it to my brother. My world.”*
No matter how much it was a joke, how could he say such a thing?
“I don’t know what happened, but just let it go.”
“If that is your command.”
“I’m saying this for your sake.”
He unfolded my clenched hand and touched it carefully. He focused on a single spot, which I noticed was bright red. His finger brushed over it.
“It’s going to bruise.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“You can be angry, or you can hit someone, but don’t self-harm.”
“Can I really hit someone?”
“You can hit them. I’ll allow it.”
It was an enticing offer. Oh, really?
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. If you need an excuse, say it was my order.”
“Then, please lend me a tool.”
“A tool?”
“A cane.”
My gaze fixed on the cane he had once wielded against Ethan Christopher. The window had broken, but the cane was perfectly fine, save for a few scratches.
I had been eyeing that for a while. As I spoke, Vincent laughed; he clearly guessed my intent.
“To your heart’s content.”
That was how I came to borrow the cane. I carried it tucked at my waist. Every time my anger surged, I would fiddle with it, or secretly pull it out to swing. I quite liked the *whoosh* sound it made as it sliced through the air.
Not bad, huh?
I went to a wider space and practiced swinging it. *Oh*, I marveled, and swung again. I finally understood why Vincent liked it. Satisfied with my excellent choice of tool, I called to mind the faces of the people who made my life difficult, one by one. I swung the cane and “hit” them. The opponent winced in my imagination. It made me feel much better.
Before I knew it, I was spinning around, lost in focus. Then, just as I swung the cane toward the side, someone popped out in front of me. Startled, I gasped and stepped back. The other person froze, hands raised. Something fluttered and fell to the floor between us.
“Please, spare me.”
“Ah, no. I’m sorry.”
Flustered, I immediately lowered the cane. Lucas stumbled backward, clutching his chest and letting out a sigh of relief. His eyes quickly swept over the weapon in my hand.
“What are you doing here? And what is that?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Don’t tell me you were going to hit me with that?”
“…….”
When I remained silent, Lucas’s face stiffened. He continued with a serious, calm expression.
“I’m sorry. I mean it. Please, spare me.”
“If you knew that, why did you say such things?”
“…….”
“I don’t like such lies.”
The anger I had momentarily forgotten surged back. I was even more furious that he treated his own death so lightly than I was at the “joke” itself.
This was a world where some couldn’t live even if they begged for it. I had seen too many deaths to treat them as an aristocrat’s trivial wordplay. And the subtext behind his comment wasn’t something I could easily brush aside, either.
“Everything Paula says is right. I have no excuses. I think I went crazy for a moment. Vincent… because I’ve done such a great wrong to my brother, and the regret is so immense… I think I ended up thinking that way while contemplating how I could be of help to him. It wasn’t something I should have said to Paula, but the thoughts I didn’t even realize I had slipped out, and I was so flustered that I tried to make excuses… I’m truly sorry. It was a mistake. I apologize sincerely.”
“…….”
“Please forgive me.”
He suddenly held out his hand. I hesitated, wondering if he wanted to shake, but he looked flustered. Lucas scanned his surroundings quickly, then bent at the waist. A bouquet of flowers lay at my feet—what he had dropped earlier.
“I’m sorry.”
He held out the white bouquet and bowed deeply. They were flowers from that mysterious space in the forest—the ones I had told him repeatedly that I liked. Petals clung to his clothes, as if he had just brought them back for me.
I glared at the crown of his head and fiddled with the cane. Should I hit him? Or not? Should I refuse? I struggled with the thought for a moment, but eventually, I ended it with a sigh. I knew he was genuinely apologizing.
“Do not treat death as a joke. Never.”
“I won’t.”
He answered immediately.
“And don’t say things like that, either.”
“Thank you for forgiving me.”
“I haven’t forgiven you.”
To be precise, I meant that I would wait and see how things played out.
I planted my cane firmly into the floor beside his hand. He peeked up at me. I curled my lips into a smirk and added that I had received permission from Master. I didn’t say what I had been granted permission for, but sensing the danger, Lucas nodded repeatedly.
It seemed he wasn’t going to straighten his back until I took the bouquet. If I left him be, he looked ready to drop to his knees. I didn’t care, but if other servants saw this, it would start unpleasant rumors.
When I finally took the bouquet, he straightened up, saying thank you. I shrugged.
“I was worried about what I would do if Paula didn’t forgive me.”
“So, were you planning to keep doing this?”
“Yes. I was going to follow you around until you forgave me.”
That’s a bit scary. If I had kept ignoring him, was he going to shake me awake in my bed just to beg for forgiveness?
“That’s why I’m relieved. I want to look good to Paula.”
“To me? Why?”
“Well, because I like Paula.”
I was surprised for a split second, but I quickly regained my composure. I don’t believe him anymore. I laughed it off, but he didn’t stop.
“I like Paula.”
“Yes, yes.”
“I am being sincere.”
“I am honored.”
As I replied nonchalantly and looked down at the bouquet, my shoulders were suddenly grabbed. My body was pulled forward, and then something soft touched my cheek.
“Agh!”
I jumped back in horror. As I rubbed my cheek and turned, Lucas was beaming at me. His expression was far too lighthearted.
“I told you I was being sincere.”
He truly was a man you could never let your guard down around.