By the time we finished running about and returned to the mansion, we were a sight to behold. Our bodies were coated in dirt, leaves, and crushed petals. I hadn’t noticed while we were caught up in the fun, but now, back in the quiet, the embarrassment rushed in. How strange we must have looked: one woman and two men, laughing and sprinting through a field of flowers. I was simply grateful there had been no one else around to see.
After washing up, I was shaking out my damp hair when my eyes fell upon the thin coat left on my bed. It was Lucas’s. He had draped it around my waist the moment he saw me running in my dress.
The memory of him bending his frame to show kindness to a servant like me stayed with me. I dusted off the coat, folded it neatly, and headed down to his room one floor below.
I knocked, but there was no response. Was he not in? Perhaps he was with Vincent Bellunita. Just as I turned to leave, the door swung open.
A strange dripping sound reached my ears first. Then, as a figure lunged into the doorway, my eyes went wide.
Lucas stood there, half-naked, wearing only his trousers.
He had clearly just finished bathing; water clung to his limp, brown hair. A single droplet escaped his locks, tracing a path down his neck before sliding toward his chest. My gaze involuntarily followed the trail.
It wasn’t as if I had never seen a naked man before. The laborers often stripped down when they were hot from work, and nudity during bathing was a matter of course. I had even seen men and women tangled together, stripped bare.
Even after coming here, I had occasionally witnessed such things while tending to Vincent Bellunita. But those sights only stirred pity, as his frame had been so gaunt and fragile. Though he had gained weight recently, he dressed himself now, leaving me with little to see.
But the body before me was broad-shouldered, sculpted with just the right amount of muscle…
“Paula.”
“Yes?”
“It’s a bit embarrassing to be looked at like that…”
Only then did I realize I had been staring intently at his bare chest.
“Oh my.”
I covered my eyes with both hands, though I left a small gap between my fingers to maintain my view. He seemed embarrassed as well, laughing while covering his chest with one arm.
“What brings you here?”
“I came to return this.”
I lowered one hand to offer the coat. After taking it, he gestured for me to come inside. He ducked in first, leaving me unable to refuse. After glancing at the water pooling on the floor, I stepped in to find he had already donned a robe. A strange sense of disappointment washed over me, and I couldn’t help but scan his back repeatedly.
As Lucas tied his robe, he gestured toward the table.
“Come and sit.”
“I only came to return the coat.”
“Stay and have some tea.”
“That’s quite alright.”
I had already had plenty of tea during the day, and being a woman alone in a young man’s room at night could lead to misunderstandings. Though my current, disheveled state hardly invited such suspicion, I had to be careful; I had found myself subject to such rumors far too often.
When I firmly refused, he laughed and stepped toward me. His flat chest peeked out from between the loosely tied silk. My eyes flickered to it before I could stop them.
“I had so much fun today. My brother enjoyed it, too.”
“It is all thanks to you, Lucas.”
“It’s thanks to you, Paula.”
We exchanged pleasantries, and he smiled broadly. I forced a smile in return. Since it was true that the day’s joy was owed to him, I felt inclined to be gracious.
“It must be inconvenient, having such limited places to go.”
“A little.”
“How is life here? Is it difficult attending to my brother?”
“That, too, is a little…”
……I trailed off, rolling my eyes before adding in a small voice, “A lot?” Lucas, pouring water into a cup, chuckled.
“I see why my brother’s condition has improved. With someone as delightful as you by his side, it’s only natural.”
“It’s all thanks to the hard work of Master.”
“You don’t need to be modest. You can’t say it isn’t also due to the efforts of Paula, who serves him.”
My brother knows it too, he seemed to imply. He said such pleasant things. If he was going to put it that way, I saw no reason to argue.
“Your hair.”
I pointed to his wet hair. He looked puzzled, so I gestured for him to bow. Lucas hesitated, then bent at the waist. I took the towel around his neck and began to dry his hair.
“You’ll catch a cold if you stay like this.”
“…”
“It’s best to dry yourself immediately after washing.”
The dripping water had bothered me since I entered. Honestly, I’m the one who cleans; if water stains build up, it makes my work a hassle. I wiped his hair primarily to prevent that. He didn’t move, eventually bending lower to make it easier for me. Hmm. I had only intended to wipe off the excess moisture.
After a moment, I decided it was dry enough and stepped back. Lucas straightened up.
“You can dry the rest yourself. I’ll be going.”
My task done, I bowed to excuse myself and turned toward the door. My back felt strangely prickling.
Just as I reached for the knob, he spoke.
“Paula. Do you know? They say there is a forest inside the castle.”
A castle? A forest? Surprised, I looked back. Lucas stood by the window, sipping water.
“The former King loved nature and had it built artificially, but they say if you see it yourself, it’s no different from a wild forest. It’s deep, grand, and beautiful. There is only one door through which you can enter.”
I had never heard of it. I replied indifferently, though the topic piqued my curiosity.
“They say only royalty can enter. Noblemen sometimes get permission, but it’s rare. Once inside, you must close the door, and while someone is inside, the door must never be opened. That is the rule. Do you know what they do in there?”
I shook my head. He set his cup on the windowsill.
“They speak of secrets.”
“Secrets?”
“Yes. Secrets that must never be leaked.”
Why go all the way there for that? As I tilted my head, he answered.
“They say that even walls have eyes and ears. You need to be careful with what you say. Especially in the castle. But how can one live with their mouth shut forever? You can’t live if you keep things bottled up too long. That’s why they created the only space where one can speak of secrets: the forest. They say the walls and doors surrounding it are so thick that the words don’t leak out, and not even a small hole can be pierced through. Plus, since guards stand in front of the door, no one can sneak in. People call it the Forest of Secrets.”
“…”
“Well, it’s just a rumor.”
He shrugged. “I haven’t seen it myself.” The excitement I felt dissipated. I had thought it was something grand, but it was just a tale. Seeing my disappointment, he laughed.
“To my brother, I suppose you are that Forest of Secrets.”
He turned his cup once. My gaze fell upon it. The spinning cup stopped precariously, and he spun it again. It was a meaningless gesture, yet he seemed fixated on it.
“People like us all have secrets. We can’t tell them to anyone, so we bury them in our hearts and suffer. Sometimes you want to pour everything out and be comforted, but you can’t just grab anyone and do that. You have to release that frustration in secret. Like shouting in the Forest of Secrets. To my brother, you must be that kind of existence.”
“…”
“And for me, my brother was that.”
He spun the cup once more, but this time, he looked at me. We locked eyes, then he turned away from the window and walked toward me.
“Do you still think what I said the other day was a lie?”
“…….”
“I’m telling you, it’s the truth. It’s my fault that hyung ended up like that.”
Lucas stopped in front of me. Even knowing I was confused, he didn’t stop.
“I was too weak; there was nothing I could do. I wasn’t bold enough to wield the power of the family, and I didn’t have the strength to protect myself. So, I dragged Vincent Bellunita into it. I thought that was the only way I would survive. This is the result. Hyung suffered the damage, and I received the salvation. So…… it’s my turn now.”
“I, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m planning to give my eyes to hyung.”
Confusion mingled with horror. I doubted my own ears. Lucas was so calm that I wanted to believe I had misheard.
I sucked in a jagged breath.
“Mas— Master is blind.”
“He hasn’t lost the function of the eyes themselves. It’s the surface that was damaged. If he undergoes surgery, he will be able to see. But it is an extremely delicate and difficult procedure, and until now, there hasn’t been a doctor capable of performing it properly. Hyung must have known that and given up. But I recently heard that there is a doctor in a distant country who has successfully performed such a surgery. I intend to bring that person here. Of course, even if I bring them, one cannot transplant just any eyes into a nobleman, but if it’s mine…… it would be fine, wouldn’t it?”
“You cannot give away the eyes of a living person!”
“I am going to die soon.”
I couldn’t understand that voice, or that smiling face. He looked so happy while talking about his own death.
“Don’t say things like that.”
I shook my head violently.
“That’s the only thing I can do for him.”
“Lucas!”
“I will give them to hyung. My world.”
“…….”
I finally realized the nature of the pressure I felt from the man smiling so brightly. He was unshakable. He had already decided. It was terrifying to see how sincere he was.
I parted my lips, but no words came. My mind was in chaos.
The confusion coloring my eyes, visible through my disheveled hair, must have been apparent to him. Lucas bent at the waist, our faces growing close enough to touch. He gazed into my eyes, then crinkled them and smiled again.
“It’s a joke.”
“……Pardon?”
“I said it’s a joke.”
His smile turned mischievous. I scanned him with a bewildered expression. He reached past me and pulled the door handle behind me. With a creak, the door swung open.
I looked from the open door back to Lucas. He covered his mouth with one hand, his eyes curved into tight crescents as he struggled to hold back laughter.
“Your surprised face is cute, too.”
“Excuse me?”
“Sleep well.”
He pushed the door wider and nudged my shoulder, ushering me out. Then, as if he couldn’t hold it back any longer, he burst into a roar of laughter at my dazed face. The sound filtered through the gap, only to cut off abruptly as the door latched shut.
I stood there blankly for a long while before his words, “It’s a joke,” finally registered.
An instant flash of heat surged through me. With a flushed face, I huffed and grabbed the door handle. It was locked. I shook it, but the door wouldn’t budge. Only the sounds of *clack, clack, clack* echoed through the hallway.
It didn’t take long for my scream to follow.