It was a peaceful day, one where I had finally begun to settle into life with Lucas. Violet came to visit the Bellunita family, a rare occurrence lately, carrying a stack of heavy suitcases.
“Paula! I missed you.”
She caught sight of me and swept me into a tight embrace, whispering that it had been torturous to communicate only through letters. Then, she rubbed her cheek against mine—a sudden, intimate gesture that caught me completely off guard. I had no idea how to react. Did people usually greet each other like this? My body stiffened, and my hands, having lost their way, simply flailed in the air.
Lucas, who had been watching, approached us.
“Noona.”
“Oh my. Lucas?”
She blinked, scanning him. Clearly, she hadn’t known he was staying here.
“My goodness. I was wondering where you’d gone.”
“I’ve been imposing on them for a while.”
“That’s mean. You told me you couldn’t.”
Violet tilted her head to look at Vincent, standing behind Lucas. Sensing her gaze, Vincent turned his head away, pretending he hadn’t noticed. Violet’s cheeks puffed out, but she didn’t grumble. Instead, she glared at Lucas. Lucas merely shrugged and turned his attention back to Vincent.
“Ethan is so busy these days, it’s hard to even see his face. Everyone is so cold. Only Paula is here for me.”
“I am honored.”
She hugged me tightly again. I buried my nose in her shoulder, inhaling a sweet, feminine fragrance. The scent, so distinct from my own, made my cheeks burn.
“Hmph. I’m going to stay here, too!”
She shouted toward the two men behind my back.
“Why?”
“Noona, did something happen?”
Both men reacted simultaneously, clearly puzzled. I looked back at them, confused, gesturing to ask what was going on. Vincent, as expected, ignored the question, and Lucas only blinked. Violet’s cheeks puffed out even further.
“Who said I came to see you two? I came to see Paula!”
“Pardon? Me?”
“Yes! Let’s go, Paula!”
With that, she abruptly dragged me toward the stairs. Despite her slender frame, she possessed a surprising amount of strength. I looked back in panic, but the two men showed no intention of intervening. In fact, they turned away as if to make it clear they wouldn’t get involved. This time, my own cheeks puffed up in frustration.
* * *
The mansion suddenly became noisy with the addition of one more person.
After greeting Isabella, who had arrived upon hearing the news, Violet unpacked in the room next to mine. She had insisted on being nearby, even making me promise that we would sleep together like girls do at night. Unlike Violet, who was giddy at the thought of chatting, I could only gauge Isabella’s mood. Fortunately, she simply commanded me with a blank face to check if the room had any issues.
Violet clearly planned to stay a while; she had quite a lot of luggage. After sending someone to fetch clothes she hadn’t brought on her last visit, it seemed she had come fully prepared.
“Ta-da! How is this, Paula?”
As I was tidying up, Violet pulled out a pink dress to show me. It featured layers of lace on the shoulders and cuffs, and the hem was adorned with frills, creating a voluminous, flowing design. A pink ribbon at the waist cinched the fabric for a slender silhouette. Looking closely, I saw roses embroidered in delicate rows; it was clearly an expensive piece.
It would look wonderful on her.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Right? I think it would look wonderful on you, Paula.”
What did she say? The strength left my hand as I touched the fabric. When I met her gaze, she gave a soft smile—one that felt unexpectedly menacing. A sense of foreboding surged within me. Instinctively, I took a step back and waved my hands.
“I brought it for you, Paula.”
“I will only accept your kind thoughts.”
“Then there’s no meaning to it.”
Still, it was too expensive. I could understand the hair ribbon—my old one had been bothering me—but this was different. I refused, insisting I couldn’t accept something so costly, but Violet didn’t say a word. She simply stepped forward, clutching the dress tightly.
“V-Violet-nim.”
“Come now, Paula. What are you doing?”
“Pardon?”
“Take it off.”
I repeated “Pardon?” a beat too late. Violet remained perfectly, softly smiling. Then, while I was still trying to grasp the meaning of her words, she lunged.
My screams echoed. Her relentless hands moved to strip away my apron and black dress. I struggled in fear, but she didn’t care; she stripped them off with terrifying ease. In the blink of an eye, I was left in only my undergarments.
I huddled on the floor, covering my body with both arms. It was my first time experiencing something like this, and tears welled up. I felt as if I had been robbed by a bandit.
I looked up at Violet in distress, but she was still smiling prettily as she tossed my apron and dress far away, beyond my reach. My gaze followed them as they were cast aside. Then, Violet held something out toward me. A corset.
“Why this…?”
“If we’re going to dress up, it’ll be even prettier if we do it perfectly.”
“Please, save me.”
I begged, but it was no use. In the end, I put on the corset. I was terrified as Violet tightened the laces from behind, and once it was secured, I felt stifled—I had never worn such a thing before. Still, the pressure wasn’t as suffocating as I’d feared. As time passed, I was able to breathe a little easier.
Once it was on, my waist was pulled in, and I seemed to have gained a bust I never possessed before. *Wow. It’s fascinating.* As I marveled at it and toyed with the ribbon at my chest, Violet handed me white stockings. I changed into them without resistance, and she followed up with new bloomers. Seeing her hand over each item as if she’d been waiting for this moment, it was clear she had come prepared for everything.
Once I was dressed, Violet circled around me to inspect the result. Her gaze was sharp. After a few turns, she smiled satisfactorily and clapped her hands.
“These days, it looks tacky if the bottom is too voluminous. This is just right. Since you’re slender, Paula, I thought it would suit you better to show off your silhouette slightly rather than obscuring it completely. But as expected, it looks wonderful on you!”
“Thank you.”
I smiled awkwardly and toyed with the hem of the skirt. The texture of the gloves felt foreign against my skin. Violet scrutinized me again, as if admiring a work of art, then reached for my head. I recoiled in horror, raising my hands to block her.
“Why? We need to fix your hair, too. And apply some makeup.”
“My hair is fine. And m-makeup is not necessary.”
“Oh, come now, how can you leave your hair like that when you’re dressed so beautifully?”
As Violet came toward me, I shook my head violently, backing away in absolute refusal. I didn’t care about anything else, but I would not have my hair touched. She insisted it wouldn’t do, but I countered that I would rather not wear the dress at all if it came to that, struggling to take it off.
Taken aback, she tried to stop me. The struggle of wills continued—me trying to remove the garment, her trying to restrain me. Then, in an instant, we both lost our balance and tumbled to the floor.
As we fell, my bangs parted. When she rose and saw my face, her eyes went wide. I quickly covered myself and backed away, holding up a hand to keep her at a distance.
“Paula.”
“D-don’t come, please. I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“Because I’m ugly.”
She blinked.
“You aren’t that ugly.”
“You don’t have to say such nice things. I’m fine.”
“Paula. I’m being sincere.”
“I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, shifting my weight back on my bottom. Violet tilted her head.
“You are on the plain side, but I don’t think it’s enough to warrant an apology.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Paula.”
As she leaned forward, I jumped in surprise and scrambled further back. I was so panicked I didn’t even notice my dress getting dirty. Violet stopped, as if she had been about to approach, her hand freezing in mid-air.
“I’m sorry.”
“Paula.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“…….”
Violet said nothing more. I continued to murmur apologies, unable to lift my head. I was terrified of seeing her face—that familiar mixture of disappointment and contempt. The criticisms of others echoed in my ears: *ugly, useless, hideous.* The accusations tightened their grip around my throat.
*Don’t do this. Please, stop.* I hadn’t wanted to be born this way, either. I shook my head, trying to cast off the stinging barbs, but they only wound themselves around me more tenaciously.
*‘You are so terrible.’*
A boy my age had once said that to me. Unlike the others, he had been kind and gentle, and he would play with me. I was grateful for that, and deep down, I think I even harbored secret feelings for him.
But as it turned out, he had been harboring a crush on Alicia. That was the only reason he had spent time with me. Even though he had used me, he was the one who poured vitriol onto me. Because my face was hideous, my entire worth as a person was judged solely by my appearance. Someone had once told me to be thankful for looking the way I did, claiming that because I was ugly, my father hadn’t sold me off.
But is that true? Is this really something to be thankful for? Just because I haven’t suffered as badly as some others, should I be grateful for my life? I don’t know.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so….”
“Paula. Look at me.”
A calm voice reached me. I shook my head, but she called my name again. *Paula.* Her gentle tone was warm. I stopped pleading for forgiveness and caught my breath. Hesitantly, I lifted my head to see Violet sitting upright, facing me.
“Paula, listen to me. I don’t care what you look like. What does it matter if you’re pretty or ugly? You are you, Paula. I like the Paula of right now. I like the kind Paula who treats me with kindness, gives me sincere advice, cheers me on, and understands me even when I’m being stubborn. I believe that those sides of you that you’ve shown me are the real Paula. Your appearance doesn’t matter in that.”
She smiled tenderly. Her unwavering violet eyes were full of warmth. The sincerity contained within her firm, soft-spoken words reached me.
“I would like you, Paula, no matter what you looked like.”
“…….”
“Don’t apologize. What is there to apologize for? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“But….”
“Oh, come now. Do you like me because I’m pretty, Paula? Would you hate me if I were ugly?”
I shook my head immediately. She laughed, telling me to see for myself. Her clear laughter rang out through the room. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her radiant, smiling face.