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A Child Who Looks Like Me

#35 The Words "I Love You"
The Words "I Love You"

Bae-il waited silently until Jeong-o’s tears finally stopped, then ended up buying more snacks from a convenience store.

“You must have a lot on your mind. Because of the long-term cold case?”
Bae-il said as he filled her glass. Jeong-o, having barely managed to stifle her tears, let out a deep sigh before speaking.

“The sea witch in *The Little Mermaid*? I think she might actually be a sage.”
Bae-il blinked at the unexpected topic. His expression went blank, making him look even more innocent.

“Do you know why the sea witch took the Little Mermaid’s voice? Because if the mermaid had spoken just one word, the sea would have turned into a literal bloodbath.”
To that innocent man, Jeong-o said in a chilling, witch-like tone:

“If she had said, ‘I’m the Little Mermaid, I used to live in the sea with my dad and sisters,’ what do you think would have happened? We would be looking at a family of mermaids at an aquarium within a year. The sea witch was protecting the safety of the ocean world.”
Her voice, preaching that cold, hard reality, was solemn and serious.

*I, too, have no choice but to keep my mouth shut for the sake of safety. I don’t know what kind of impact the truth I’m holding onto will have on your family or mine.*

Bae-il’s expression turned pensive. Fearing she had taken her bizarre story too far, Jeong-o gently cautioned him.

“Don’t tell this to the kids. Let’s just keep this between us.”

“Oh… right.”
Bae-il was as naive in his response as he looked.

Unloading her grievances to someone who didn’t know her situation was surprisingly effective. After finishing the bottle of soju, her heart felt a little lighter. She felt like she could shake it all off and keep living well starting tomorrow—even though the thought of running into Ji-heon frightened her.

“Officer, thank you so much. Truly, the ‘People’s Cane’ is the best.”
Jeong-o said, giving him a thumbs-up with both hands.

“Not at all. I’m glad I could be of help. Get home safe.”

“Yes! You should head home soon too, Officer!”
Jeong-o bowed in sync with Bae-il. However, despite the spirited farewell, an awkward situation followed.

*Haha. Haha.*

Since they were heading in the same direction, they would look at each other and smile awkwardly, then look away and bow again. After walking for a few more minutes, Jeong-o spoke up.

“It seems we’re going the same way.”

“I suppose so. My place is across from that Lemon Laundry you see there.”

“Oh? Is that the six-story villa?”

“Yes.”

“I’m in the five-story villa right next to it. We’re neighbors! It’s so reassuring to have a police officer as a neighbor!”
As Jeong-o revealed her delight, Bae-il finally smiled. He was even more handsome when he smiled like that. He must be very popular at the station. Jeong-o watched his face, satisfied.

“What kind of work do you do, Jeong-o Lee?”

“I’m a copywriter.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“I’m still struggling with a lot of things, though.”

“It’s impressive nonetheless. Working while raising a child on your own.”

“I get a lot of help from my mom. Oh, are you not married, Officer?”

“No. I live alone.”

“If you don’t have a partner, would you like me to set you up with someone?”

“No, thank you. I prefer being alone for now.”
Bae-il declined cleanly. *Well, I’m sure there are plenty of people offering to set him up besides me.* Jeong-o decided to just be satisfied with having a police officer as a neighbor. It was a decent enough night.

***

The next day.

Ji-heon, who had left early in the morning for an external meeting, returned to the office late in the afternoon. He had so many things to clear up that he hadn’t been able to acknowledge Jeong-o, even though he saw her earlier. He had intended to find a chance to speak with her quietly after his return, but she wasn’t at her desk.

“Where is Deputy Jeong-o?”
He asked Gihun, who sat next to her.

“She went to the studio for a radio ad recording.”

“Tell her to stop by my office when she returns.”

“Director, we have the Dawon Liquor new product tasting event today. Everyone will be heading there in a bit. Deputy Lee is supposed to meet us there directly after her recording.”
At Gihun’s words, a weak sigh escaped Ji-heon’s lips. He had remembered it perfectly until yesterday, but after hearing Jeong-o’s bombshell confession, his mind had gone blank.

He didn’t even understand this feeling himself. He had learned the truth—that he didn’t look like her father. Fine, that was one thing. He could even understand the lies; after all, she didn’t want to be trapped in the frame of him looking like her father.

But, that he looked like her ex-boyfriend? Was that even true? He realized that when he had pretended to be her late father, she hadn’t called him “Dad,” but “Oppa.”

*’How much do I look like him? Enough that she could mistake me for him in a drunken stupor?’*
Or perhaps, had her own logic circuit completely failed due to the alcohol? Regardless, it was bitter. He knew that being told you resemble someone wasn’t exactly pleasant. At the same time, he felt anxious that if he didn’t have that connection… he might be cut off from her entirely.

On the other hand, he felt angry at that “ex-boyfriend” guy. What kind of unforgivable things did he do to make a woman weep like that even now?

*’Surely… he didn’t die, did he?’*
Recalling her tears, he couldn’t rule out that possibility. How was he supposed to ask about an ex-boyfriend? How much could he ask without making her feel uncomfortable?

*’I never thought I’d live to be worrying about something like this.’*
Because of Jeong-o Lee. Me.

Even while feeling conflicted, Ji-heon hurried to finish his work for the tasting event. He got into his car without delay. While being driven by his chauffeur, his phone vibrated. He checked it; it was his mother, Mrs. Youngmi Jang.

He ignored the first call. But he couldn’t ignore the second. Ji-heon sighed deeply and answered.

“Yes, Mother.”

[Son, are you busy?]

“Yes. I’m on my way to an event for an advertiser.”
His voice softened in response to his mother’s affectionate tone, but his expression remained cold. Just as it always did.

[Are you eating well? You aren’t sick anywhere, are you?]

“Yes. I’m healthy. How are you, Mother?”

[Oh, my stomach has been giving me a hard time. I get indigestion even from just a little bit of stress.]

“Have you been to get a checkup? Make sure to take your medication regularly.”

[Yes. Thank you. Everything is fine with you, right?]

“Always the same, as usual.”

[Eunbi came over yesterday. She had a cup of tea and left without any incident, but I was a bit worried. There isn’t some issue between you two, is there?]
His face crumpled at the mention of Eunbi. After causing such a scene at the office, she had gone running to his mother. He felt frustrated, trapped in a position where he couldn’t even speak freely because he had to be mindful of his mother’s health.

“……Right?”

“Yes. I’ll tell you soon.”
Youngmi and Eunbi had been close for a long time, so severing that tie would take time. Ji-heon thought he would have to visit Youngmi someday.

[I always get anxious when you say that, son.]

“……”

[Don’t make Mom and Dad too worried. Ji-heon, you know how Mom feels, right? Everything I do is because I love you. You know that, right?]

“Of course.”

[Do you really know?]

“Naturally. I love you too, Mother….”

[……]

“…because I love you.”
He spat out a confession devoid of sincerity to end the call quickly. Thanks to the cringe-worthy profession of love, he managed to hang up. Ji-heon turned his phone off.

While his memories from the last three years had been cut away like they were trimmed with scissors, there were quite a few memories from the distant past coming back to life. Was it when he was nine?

There was a friend he wanted to get close to. A friend who was cheerful, smart, and talented. They were taking a Go prodigy class together at school, but as soon as his mother confirmed she was close with that friend’s family, she made him quit the class.

“I heard that child doesn’t have a father. If you hang out with someone like that, you’ll be tainted by bad influences.”
The “bad influence” that a fatherless child possessed. Ji-Heon couldn’t understand it. So, he argued with his mother a few times, but he couldn’t change the outcome.

“Your mom called my mom. She told her to tell you to stop hanging out with me.”
One day, a friend told him that. When Ji-Heon had been stubborn about seeing them, Mrs. Youngmi Jang had called the friend’s mother directly. That was the first time he had hated his mother.

Youngmi, looking at Ji-Heon with a pitiful expression—as if he would understand it all one day—had said:

“You mustn’t hate your mother. It’s all because she loves you.”
Love was used as a tool like that. Every moment of interference and disconnection was branded with the label of love. That she loved him. That damn phrase, “I love you.”

That was why Ji-Heon didn’t want to attach the word “love” to his own desires. Coming to hate the word “love,” nothing could ever become an object of his affection. And so, he had nothing precious to him.

“You don’t have anything precious. Everyone who has passed through your life is trivial to you.”
His friend Park Seung-Gyu’s sharp remark was the absolute truth.

Is that why? Is the reason I feel so indifferent, even though my memories of seven years ago—the memories of three full cycles of the four seasons—have vanished in a chunk, because I have nothing precious?

Thinking of his empty past made his heart ache.

Before he knew it, the car had turned onto a small road in Haengdang-Dong. He had heard it was a unique pub area near the university, but the driver seemed unfamiliar with the road, tilting his head in confusion. Suddenly, Ji-Heon, who had been gazing out the window, felt a sharp ache in his head and had the car stop.

“Stop here, please.”

“We still have a little further to go, Director.”

“I’ll walk the rest of the way. My head hurts.”
Ji-Heon got out of the car. It was the season approaching summer. The days had grown longer, and even though it was past 6:00 PM, it was as bright as midday. Arriving at the tasting event too early would look bad, so walking slowly was a good choice. Ji-Heon pulled out his phone to check his location.

While turning his phone back on, he looked around. He didn’t know anything about this place, yet on the other hand, there was a strange sense of familiarity. It wasn’t as if anyone he knew lived in Haengdang-Dong. He found himself walking wherever his heart and mood drew him.

Each step he took felt as if he were moving further away from the tasting event, but for some reason, he couldn’t give it up. After wandering aimlessly, he suddenly regained his senses to find he had arrived at a strange place—a studio apartment village in a university area where old villas were packed tightly together.

*’Why am I here?’*
Just looking at the surrounding scenery made his eyes sting and his heart throb.

*What exactly have I lost?*

***

Jin-Seo had been out all afternoon. Team Leader Mi-Ran had been taking good care of her, noticing that something major had happened yesterday; Mi-Ran had kept watch to ensure Jin-Seo and Ji-Heon wouldn’t run into each other, and that Jin-Seo and Eun-Bi wouldn’t cross paths. Thanks to that, she had been able to spend the day in the recording studio, listening to the honey-sweet voice of a voice actor.

In the evening, there was the Dawon Liquor new product tasting event. The recording finished earlier than expected, so following Mi-Ran’s instructions, Jin-Seo didn’t return to the office and instead caught a bus straight to the venue, which was close to the university she had graduated from. The bus ride was familiar, and she felt a flutter of excitement for no reason.

She had plenty of time, so she stopped by the university to stroll through the campus. The last time Jin-Seo had roamed the campus was when she was a junior. After that, she had taken a long leave of absence, and once she returned, she only attended cyber lectures.

The end of her junior year had been a brutal winter for Jin-Seo. Her body slowly changing. A man who offered no contact. She had curled up inside her house, and one day, she stepped outside and walked aimlessly. It was during a time when the media was buzzing about abnormal weather.

Though winter was clearly approaching, the trees had buds on them, forgetting the season. Seeing the flowers that had bloomed mistakenly, swayed by the brief warmth, Jin-Seo had sobbed her heart out.

For believing in love like a fool. For believing in a love that had never even been told it was love.

Back then, it was so hard she wanted to die, but seven years of time is truly surprising.

*’Because now, that past doesn’t bother me at all, Mr. Ji-Heon Jeong.’*
As she continued walking, leaving the campus behind, she arrived at the house where she used to live long ago. Although a few new buildings had been erected in the area, the studio apartment building where Jin-Seo had lived remained the same. Seeing that house felt surprisingly nostalgic.

Cherishing the memories that had nothing to cherish. She was wearing a faint smile while reflecting on seven years ago.

Then, someone’s footsteps struck her heart with a heavy thud. Feeling an ache in her stomach as if her morning sickness from those days was coming back to life, Jin-Seo placed a hand on her chest and turned her head to find the source.

Jin-Seo’s eyes widened.

He was there.

The man, with eyes as red as the shimmering sunset of this season and this moment, was staring at her in silence with an expression as startled as her own.

“……Why are you here, Director…….”
Why are you here? How in the world…….

Her tear ducts swelled with transparency, capturing the scene where he stood. Her heart was beating so hard it ached, as if it were screaming for her to survive. Even so, she felt so choked up that she couldn’t say another word.

They had met again, like people visiting the memorial of the deceased.

*I, who have lost you, and you, who have forgotten me.*

Reading progress
183
[Side Story] Realizations (End)
182
[Side Story] Stay By My Side Forever (2)**
181
[Side Story] Stay By My Side Forever (1)
180
[Side Story] Children Grow Up Too Fast (4)
179
[Side Story] Children Grow Up Too Fast (3)
178
[Side Story] Children Grow Up Too Fast (2)
177
[Side Story] Children Grow Up Too Fast (1)
176
[Side Story] The Birth of Number Two
175
[Side Story] Children Grow Up (3)
174
[Side Story] Children Grow Up (2)
173
[Side Story] Children Grow Up (1)
172
[Side Story] Working Dad (4)
171
[Side Story] Working Dad (3)
170
[Side Story] Working Dad (2)
169
[Side Story] Working Dad (1)
168
An Imperfect Day
167
I’ll Protect Her
166
It’s my daughter! It’s my daughter!
165
Kindness Bestowed Upon the Insignificant
164
The Go Tournament Again
163
The Court Hearing
162
A Late Engagement Ceremony
161
Has your memory returned?
160
It’s Not Too Late Yet
159
Happy Birthday!
158
Thanks to You
157
Miracle Child
156
Trust Your Mother
155
A Heart That Cannot Give Up
154
A Time of Change
153
The Bond
152
Was there another beginning?
151
Karmic Retribution
150
Is it raining flower petals?
149
The Courage to Forgive
148
Into the Abyss
147
Three People
146
24 years ago, November 2nd.
145
It’s You, Isn’t It? It’s You.
144
Where Dreams Have Vanished
143
I Know This Feeling
142
Who Turned It On?
141
I’m Arresting You
140
Love's Weakness
139
I Will Win It All
138
A Fool Who Only Knows You
137
The Truth of the Rumors
136
You are being deceived
135
Even Moms Have Moms
134
It won’t be long now
133
I Want to Receive a Call
132
True Madness
131
What could have happened?
130
Discrimination and Resentment
129
His Memories
128
Taste of Malt
127
Name
126
It’s a childhood name.
125
Pursuit
124
To the Police Station
123
Call Mom
122
Baduk Tournament
121
Love is Never Enough, No Matter How Much You Receive
120
Don't Let Go of Me
119
Words I Want to Hear
118
Ji-Heon’s Wish
117
A Complete Family
116
He will remember you
115
Stop Crying Now
114
If There Is a Next Life for Us
113
Time Travel
112
A Worry I’ve Never Had
111
The Butterfly Effect
110
Urgent request
109
Setting Up a New Home
108
The Purpose of Marriage
107
I Love You, Too
106
A Sense of Alienation
105
Even a child has secrets
104
When the Child Runs to Me
103
The Best Prescription
102
If I Didn't Have You
101
Waiting for Today
100
Are You Alright?
99
Exposure
98
Lovesickness
97
Please, Give It Back
96
A Mother's Life
95
Did You Save the Universe or Something?
94
My Dad Is Coming
93
Mutual
92
We Wanted to Protect Gihun
91
Mother and Mother
90
Finally, We Meet
89
Paternity Test
88
The Suffering That Was Inevitable
87
Really, Really, Really, Really
86
To You, My Beloved
85
A Lie
84
Please, Get a Grip!
83
Daddy is Running
82
Don’t Interfere
81
The Cuteness That Saves the World
80
Gift
79
I Won’t Give You Anything
78
Will such a day ever come?
77
A Yearning Unrequited Love
76
Such a Thing!
75
The Spicy Taste of Life
74
Mom is My World
73
There’s Something Going On
72
The First Greeting
71
Bring That Guy Here
70
Dark History
69
Back to You (2)
68
To You, Again (1)
67
All I need is one word
66
Stormy Night
65
To Jin-Seo
64
Do you remember me?
63
I Think I Once Loved Someone
62
November 2nd, Seven Years Ago
61
Because that person must have been waiting the whole time
60
I’ll Hold Your Hand
59
A Story That’s Interesting Because It’s You
58
Why did you do that?
57
Hello, Ye-Na
56
Romeo and Juliet
55
I love you, too
54
I Want Everything
53
If There Were a Camera Reflecting Our Lives
52
Be Prepared
51
Nice to See You Again
50
Why a Mother?
49
The Man Who Can Never Be Mine
48
You Look Great
47
People Who Know Her
46
Four Men
45
My Man
44
A Pretty Child
43
Angel’s Kiss
42
I’m Sorry
41
Can We Be Friends?
40
Let’s See, Jeong-o Lee
39
Welcoming a Guest
38
Marriage Rumors
37
The Most Precious and Fond Memory
36
That Man Is You
35
The Words "I Love You"
34
Wishing for Flower Rain
33
Unfair
32
What is Love
31
Who do I look like?
30
Even If You Give Everything You Have
29
You Will Cry
28
Please
27
The Child’s Birthday (2)
26
The Child’s Birthday (1)
25
I Like You, Assistant Manager
24
Mine, Don’t Touch
23
It Suits You Well
22
Out of Control
21
I can do anything
20
One Week Left
19
I’m Never Letting Go
18
I don’t have a dad.
17
Father and Daughter
16
That’s Not a Kiss
15
A Mother Becomes Strong for Her Child
14
Someone Knows
13
My name? It’s Jeong-o Lee.
12
Who is Yena?
11
The Person Who Will Become My Wife
10
Your baby was born
9
You talked down to me
8
My child's dad found out
7
My Princess
6
That’s insane, Ji-Heon Jeong
5
At First Sight, In a Glance
4
Seven Years Later
3
Someone seems to be crying
2
I Kept the Words "I Love You" to Myself
1
I have something to say

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